


More Than This

by mumsywrites



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Emotional Slow Burn, Friends With Benefits, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, PWP, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex, Sharing a Bed, Swordplay, a little blood, dark dimitri (pre-time skip), that they so desperately crave, without the emotional commitment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:08:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 40,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumsywrites/pseuds/mumsywrites
Summary: Late night at the traingrounds, up against the shelves at the library, beside the fireplace in the knight's hall during dinner: Dimitri & Felix can't seem to keep their hands to themselves. But it's "just a way to pass the time," right? Nothing more. And yet...An "emotional" slow burn, where Felix & Dimitri are friends with benefits, agonizing over confessing how they truly feel.Chapters 1 - 12 are Academy Phase (including NSFW)Chapters 13 - 20 are War Phase
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 71
Kudos: 157





	1. Great Tree Moon - Training Grounds

Felix was pinned up against the column, his sword long since fallen from his hands to the ground. His breath was heavy and it was hot, too hot for a spring evening. If only the boar would have the decency to tear away his clothing. But no. He insisted on keeping Felix clothed as his tongue explored every minute detail of Felix’s neck.

It was late, much later than Felix normally stayed up. But he knew the boar was awake and willing for a training session. He just didn’t expect it to turn out like this. He was relieved for the hour, though; he couldn’t risk anyone seeing him like this. Being so desperate for the boar’s touch. Nothing would be more humiliating. Everyone at the Academy knew how much vitriol he spat out about the boar, how vocal he was about his hate. And yet…

Dimitri slowly moved his mouth down Felix’s neck, gently grating his teeth against flesh before biting down, his hands wrapped firmly around Felix’s wrists. Felix was trapped by a beast and it was killing him to admit he wanted more. The pulsing in his groin only increased when Dimitri reached the fabric of Felix’s top, pulling the buttons apart with his teeth so he could nibble on Felix’s collarbone without restriction.

Felix tilted his head back, slipping against the stone pillar, and cried out. Dimitri gave a soft chuckle, and Felix shivered as his breath tickled the wet spots on his neck.

 _Don’t laugh_ , he chided in his head, but Felix couldn’t get the words out, or any for that matter. There was so much he wanted to say. Go lower. Take off those gauntlets. Hold me against you.

No. Never. The thought of saying those things made his head throb. He couldn’t admit that he wanted more.

Dimitri bit down and Felix gasped once more. Soon, one of this wrists was free, as Dimitri decided to unbutton Felix’s vest and blouse with a little more ease.

Finally, Felix thought, arching his back so his now exposed skin could feel the evening breeze coming into the training grounds, relieving his body of this torturous heat.

Dimitri stood up straight, his hand now back on Felix’s wrist, and examined his work. He didn’t say a word, only smiled. Felix couldn’t trust that smile, nor the hollow look in the boar’s eyes.

“So…untouched,” he mused softly, his head tilting to the side.

Felix hated this; his heart began to race, unsure of what was on the boar’s mind. His eyes were glazed, like that time two years ago when the beast emerged from the boy, taking all sanity and decency away. Dimitri knelt down to pick up the blade, long since forgotten to the floor.

Felix still felt pinned to the pillar, though nothing was holding him back. He simply watched in horror and Dimitri stood back up, examining the blade, his eyes narrowed. Felix swallowed hard as he watched the blade turn in Dimitri’s hand and then pressed the dulled edge up against his skin.

It was all true; he was nothing but a beast. And even though the blade was dulled, the boar was strong enough to break skin and bone with enough force. Instead, he dragged the blade down Felix’s chest to his belly button and Felix took in a sharp breath through gritted teeth as he felt a small drip of liquid emerge from that line.

Dimitri gasped and dropped the blade, his eyes wide. “Felix, I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“B-boar, don’t touch m-…”

But Dimitri’s hands were back on Felix’s wrists, his nose pressed up against his chest where the sword began its decent. Slowly, Dimitri coated the trail with kisses and softly lapped up the small bits of blood that broke through Felix’s skin. He stopped at Felix’ belly button, where his blouse started to close back in again, and looked up. “I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.”

Forgive. Such an easy word to throw around. There was a lot Felix wasn’t willing to forgive Dimitri for, but for something like this, it would have to be something good.

He groaned, frozen in place, his eyes locked with Dimitri’s. The throbbing from before returned, and Felix cursed its timing, the boar so close, his eyes so wide, his mouth so…

Dimitri seemed to notice, looking down at the erection pressing through Felix’s pants, his forehead pressed against Felix’s belly.

“I can make it up to you.” Again, he released his hold on Felix’s wrists, moving his hands to rest on hips instead, bringing Felix forward towards this mouth. He licked up the front of Felix’s trousers and pressed his mouth against the tip of Felix’s cock, just a few layers of fabric separating him.

Felix cried out, his knees growing weak, but Dimitri was strong enough to keep him up, and he continued to soak through Felix’s pants with his mouth.

It was all too much and not enough. _Just take them off if you want forgiveness_ , Felix thought. _Just rip them off and touch me!_

Dimitri couldn’t read Felix’s thoughts, and continued to lap his tongue up against the fabric and suck at the tip.

Felix grasped at the pillar behind him, wanting nothing more than to thrust his cock into Dimitri’s mouth. He would never come like this. He whined, a small tear leaking from his eye, as his body writhed against the pillar.

Dimitri moved his mouth off and looked up at Felix, lightly pressing his chin against the slobbery mess that his pants had become. “Felix?”

“Wh-what, boar?!” His voice echoed in the training ground, and his chest tightened at the prospect of anyone still being awake. He tried to avoid those teasing eyes.

Dimitri smiled and grabbed the top of Felix’s pants, wiggling them down his hips just slightly. His fingers brushed against Felix’s skin and it the exact amount of contact Felix wanted and yet not enough. Dimitri continued to tease the pants down, but only slightly, while Felix was hard and ready to let the boar consume him.

“Your Highness.”

A chill ran up Felix’s spine and he tensed at the low bass of Dedue’s voice, echoing from the door behind him.

Dimitri stood up, bringing Felix’s pants back up to his waist and stepping back. “Dedue,” he said, a guilty smile on his lips.

“You’re still awake.”

Dimitri stared at the floor, trying to hide his blush. “Yes, I know. Felix wanted to spar, so I obliged…”

The sound of Felix’s heart pounding in his chest almost made their exchange inaudible, his nails scraping up against the stone behind him.

“You must get your rest. The mock battle is tomorrow.”

With a sigh and a slight roll of the eyes, Dimitri started towards the door, leaving Felix without even a glance or a word. The door slammed and Felix was alone in the training grounds, a situation he normally craved.

He groaned and slid down the pillar to the floor, staring at the mess Dimitri had made of his pants. He quickly unbuttoned them and began to finish the work the boar refused to do. Properly, at least.

He pumped furiously, trying not to think about how quickly Dimitri had heeded the call of his Duscur nanny, and instead on the feel of his hands, gently gliding down Felix’s back.

He laughed; as if the boar could be gentle.

He dragged his thumb along the tip and moaned, furiously jerking off to end his humiliation quickly. With a quick glance, he noticed the bit of blood that Dimitri hadn’t licked up and cried out as his hand fumbled over his cock, remembering Dimitri’s tongue, lips, teeth.

“D-damn it,” he cried out, spilling cum over his hand. His shoulders finally slackened against the pillar and Felix tried to hold back tears. Two years. It had been two years and Felix wanted to hate him so much, and yet he wanted nothing more than to touch Dimitri, to kiss him.

He stood up, steadying himself against the pillar and wiping his hand over his shirt. Not like anyone would see the stains under his vest anyway. He buttoned up his pants, his blouse, and vest, and bent over to grab the sword, returning it to the weapon shed.

“Spar,” he laughed out, his lip curling. He found Felix practicing against a dummy and dared to touch him, dared to fill his mind with distracting thoughts. He sighed, turning to stare at the pillar. It felt…so good. And he hated himself for admitting it. He wanted more, he wanted Dimitri to tell Dedue to mind his business so he could properly finish off Felix, and perhaps wrap his arms around him, petting his sweat slicked hair back as he recovered.

No.

Felix shook his head and began to storm out of the training grounds. Once outside, he could spot two silhouettes by the dorms. His chest tightened, knowing it was the boar with his keeper. He scoffed and decided to take the long way back to his room, around the Academy, to avoid hearing whatever they had to say to each other, or see what they were doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda gonna make each chapter follow a month of the game, so there'll probably be about 20 of this? Let's see how that goes. I like the idea of a slowly burning emotions rather than the smut. They have each other physically, but is that enough?
> 
> I want to thank @KnowToastie on Twitter for posting that screenshot (from here, actually) that really inspired me to write this! I have a lot of ideas that I've wanted to write for Dimilix for some time now and this fic might be a good avenue to explore it. Enjoy!


	2. Harpsting Moon - Blue Lions Classroom

Normally, Dimitri sat at the front of the classroom; at least, he did the moment the Professor started last moon. Dimitri hung on every word, every tactical lesson that came from their mouth. But sometimes, sleep evaded him and he would spend the nights trying to appease the voices. And unfortunately, he had just experienced one of those nights.

Dimitri took his seat in the back row, and when the Professor came by to ask if anything was wrong, Dimitri smiled and gave a short excuse of, “Just some trouble sleeping, Professor.”

They nodded and resumed the lesson, leaving Dimitri to briefly close his eyes and escape the moment. It had taken so much to even convince Dedue, but Dimitri truly wanted some peace in the back row, alone. There he could clear his thoughts and try his best to focus on the lesson.

And he might have had another reason.

From the back row, he had the perfect view of Felix. He sat one row up, on the opposite side of the classroom, sitting next to Sylvain (who thankfully, wasn’t obstructing Dimitri’s view). Felix sat, tapping his quill on the parchment and only writing when the Professor gave some excellent battle advice. During those moment, he would bend over the table and scribble furiously. Dimitri watched as his vest pulled up, revealing the messy way Felix had tucked in his shirt. A small bit of skin was visible each time he leaned forward, and Dimitri couldn’t look away.

Occasionally during the lesson, Sylvain would give a nudge and whisper a joke into Felix’s ear. Felix would grimace, but the way he would lean in to listen made Dimitri’s heart sink; that Felix would allow someone to get that close to him in public. He would eventually swat at Sylvain’s hand if the joke was not to his liking, but sometimes, he would smile or blush. What could he have possibly said to make Felix lower his defenses in such a way?

Every so often, Sylvain would lean back in his seat, the front legs of his chair hovering off the ground, and Dimitri noticed how the small piece of uncovered skin on Felix’s back had caught Sylvain’s eye as well.

And of course it would. Felix’s soft, supple skin was intoxicating. Just looking at it filled Dimitri’s head with thoughts of how it felt against his lips.

He closed his eyes, shook the image from his head, and looked down at his paper, covered in messy scribbles and ink blots. Perhaps he should take Dedue’s advice next time and drink some tea before bed. Or maybe if he could just have someone lie beside him in his bed, small as it was, he would find the courage to avoid the voices for one night.

Felix could fit. In fact, he would fit quite nicely.

It had been years since they shared a bed together, and though they were but children, Dimitri always fell asleep faster when holding Felix’s hand. Those were also the nights when he had the sweetest of dreams. He missed those nights, and that time years ago when Felix would still speak to him. In public, at least. He could still get his attention in private, like their late night sparring sessions which often became fondling sessions. It was the only time Felix would let Dimitri touch him.

“Class dismissed.”

Dimitri shook his head, unaware of the time. So soon? He glanced over at Felix; Sylvain stood beside him, his arm wrapped tight around Felix’s shoulder, holding him close to his side. Were they always on such friendly terms? Did they spend much time together these days?

He needed a moment, just a short one. And he had the perfect excuse. He watched as the class filed out and was thankful no one had questions for the Professor. Methodically, he walked up to Sylvain and Felix.

“Hey, your Highness! Sleep well last night?” Sylvain’s hand was gripped tight on Felix’s shoulder, and the other didn’t seem to mind. Or notice.

“Not very well, no, but thank you, Sylvain.”

“My bad, I’ll try to keep it down, next time,” he said with a wink, pulling Felix towards the door.

“One moment,” Dimitri said, stepping in front of the them. “Felix, do you mind if I look over your notes? I admit, I lost track of the lesson today.”

Felix sighed and peeled Sylvain’s arm from his shoulder. “Fine, boar,” he scoffed, turning back to his table.

“Aw, come on, Fe, I thought we were going to have lunch together!”

Felix didn’t bother to respond, leaving Sylvain to beg for Mercedes to join him instead. He simply took out his notes and spread them out on the table.

“Make it quick. I need to get back to my training.”

Dimitri simply nodded and started copying Felix’s notes, taking time to look around the classroom to make sure everyone had cleared out.

“Thank you, Felix, I know I should take better care to pay attention during class. I really appreciate your help,” Dimitri said, finishing up.

Felix rolled his eyes and snatched his own notes away. “Maybe you should try getting some sleep.”

Dimitri reached out and placed his hand over Felix’s on the table and watched as the flush appeared on Felix’s cheeks. “You’re right.” He leaned in, and smiled at the way Felix quickly took a glance at him before averting his gaze. “I could use some help with that, as well.”

He inched in closer, and could smell the faint hint of steel on Felix’s skin. He gripped tighter, his own hand shaking, and brushed his lips up against Felix’s mouth.

“You’re a fool to do this in the classroom,” Felix said softly, not moving an inch.

“Everyone else has left.” Dimitri wanted to hold him, press his body up against Felix’s chest, but he had to be careful, thoughtful even. He knew his strength, and tried to control it with every fiber of his being. It would take so much effort not to break Felix, but he needed him. And so he kissed him.

Felix’s reflexes were quick, grasping at Dimitri’s jacket to pull him in. Dimitri’s hands found Felix’s waist and pushed him through the class and up against the bookshelf against the wall, fighting for Felix to just part his lips.

He pushed his leg up between Felix’s and nudged his knee into his groin, gently rubbing his leg back and forth. Felix let out a small moan and Dimitri smirked at the chance to dive in, pushing his tongue through to meet with Felix’s. He moved his hands down his back and slipped his fingers beneath the vest, finding that small piece of exposed skin under his shirt. He should have taken off his gauntlets to feel the warmth of Felix’s flesh, but would settle for the warmth of his tongue instead, and let his hands slip down into Felix’s pants.

Felix groaned and bit down on Dimitri’s bottom lip, pulling it back. Dimitri wished he would bite harder, the sensation shooting down through his stomach to his pelvis. “That’s enough, boar,” Felix said, grabbing Dimitri’s hands. “I have to go train.”

Train; he mused about the cut he made down Felix’s chest and wondered if it left a scar. Perhaps he would join in on his training today and chance having a look. Felix pushed Dimitri away and fixed his shirt and hair, walking out of the classroom. “We’re just…doing this to pass the time, anyway.”

And then he was gone.

Dimitri pressed his back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. Just passing the time…

Had it meant nothing more than that to Felix? A way to get a quick thrill every now and then? Dimitri’s chest tightened and he gripped at the front of his jacket, his shaking hand urging the feeling to stop, but to no avail.

He wouldn’t train with Felix that day, and so he had to figure out a way to fill the idle time he desperately wanted to waste with Felix.


	3. Garland Moon - Dormitory, Second Floor

Felix held his hands in his head, agonizing over exactly two things; the annoying task of writing a letter to his father and the stupid thing he said to Dimitri last moon. It still hung awkwardly in his ear.

_“We’re just doing this to pass the time.”_

His fingers pulled at his hair, strands falling loose from his bun. What a foolish thing to say. Even more so that the boar insisted on rephrasing it each time they met since. They would make out in some hidden corner and the boar would finish with a laugh and say it. He’d be pressed up against the stone walls of the Monastery, letting Dimitri fondle him for him to breathe it into his ear, in that sickeningly saccharine tone. Dimitri even had the gall to say it when Felix had his mouth filled with his cock.

He whined, trying to will away the irritation. He’d gladly welcome any distraction from writing this accursed letter, but that was the last thing he wanted on his mind. With a grimace, he turned back to the parchment, staring at the one word he managed to write down: “Father.”

So far, he had addressed it, and that was as much as he would get down for the moment. As he tried to find something to write about, a knock came to his door.

He turned abruptly in his seat and furrowed his brow; who would be knocking this late? Sylvain? He normally didn’t return until early in the morning, along with the sunrise, smelling of various kinds of perfume. He groaned and stood up, opening the door.

“Who…?”

Dimitri.

His eyes were downcast and he was dressed in a simple linen night shift that went down past his knees. He certainly wasn’t expecting such a visitor and was thankful Dimitri wasn’t making eye contact, so the flush on his cheeks could take over with reckless abandon.

“What do you want at this hour, boar?” His tone conflicted with the flutter in his chest.

Dimitri gasped out an embarrassed laugh and looked into Felix’s eyes, a small smile on his lips. “It seems Sylvain has a visitor tonight and it’s been quite difficult to get some sleep. I was wondering…”

Sleep. He wanted to sleep in Felix’s room. Share his bed. Felix bit his lip and looked back into his room; surely the bed was too small to fit the two of them (though Sylvain had apparently managed to fit a guest beside him that night).

“If it’s too much trouble, I understand, I just…”

“It’s fine,” Felix said, leaving the door open and storming towards the back corner of the room, rummaging through a pile to find his own night shirt; he was still dressed in his uniform from the day. “Make yourself comfortable or whatever.”

“Oh, I can leave until you’re finished dressing…”

“Don’t,” Felix spat out, immediately regretting it. “I mean, just…it’s fine.”

Felix could almost hear Dimitri smile as the door closed, followed by the chair creaking as he took a seat.

Felix faced the wall as he dressed, feeling incredibly vulnerable with Dimitri right beside him. Despite the many times they had done this as children, he felt so self-conscious about it now. Perhaps because a part of him wanted Dimitri to watch, to gaze at his exposed skin, to watch the fabric flutter over his body. And his hands were bare tonight. Dimitri could assist him, although the last time he had undone Felix’s clothes, his skin became acquainted with a sword. Dimitri’s tongue followed soon after, but there was still a small bit of fear.

“I see you’ve started the letter to your father!”

Felix groaned, tossing his uniform onto the shelf and quickly tugging the shift over his head. “Barely,” he said, walking up behind Dimitri in the chair and looking over his shoulder.

“I didn’t think you would listen to any of my suggestions, but I’m glad you did. Rodrigue would love to hear from you.”

 _Doubt it_ , Felix thought, rolling his eyes and sitting at the edge of his bed. “I’m tired, boar, so if you’re planning on chatting all night, you’re going to be disappointed.” Slipping his feet under the sheets, Felix turned to face the wall and closed his eyes tight.

“Right,” Dimitri said, his voice caught in his throat.

A silent moment passed before the bed creaked with his added weight to the bed. Felix’s heart started to race, his body growing hot under the layers of light fabric. The sheet shifted above him as Dimitri got in bed beside him and he bit his lip hard, nearly breaking skin, when Dimitri’s breath tickled his neck. He tried to fight the throbbing between his legs, but no matter how hard he tried to fill his mind with other thoughts, the fact of Dimitri beside him took his whole body over.

“Remember,” he said softly, the hair on the back of Felix’s neck rising with Dimitri’s breath, “when we held hands as children? It always helped me fall asleep faster…”

Felix clenched a fist to stop his hand from shaking; Dimitri’s hands, unburdened by the gauntlets, touching his. Felix wanted to squirm at the thought, for his body couldn’t take it. Sweat started to build at his brow and he realized that summer was upon them.

“Do you mind…if I hold your hand, Felix?”

That was putting it lightly; Felix was sure he would explode at the sensation. He stretched out his fingers and held his hand up. He lost nearly lost his breath when Dimitri grasped it, lacing his fingers within the empty spaces, his hold gentle, but tight. His hands were warm and large. Of course the gauntlets made them seem larger, but truly, they had grown in the years since they last held hands. And they were surprisingly soft for a someone who wielded a lance like Dimitri.

Felix closed his fingers over Dimitri’s and held it close to his chest, hoping that Dimitri couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Thank you,” he mused, nudging his nose against base of Felix’s neck.

Felix couldn’t hold back his gasp and clutched at Dimitri’s hand, his cock hardening between his legs.

A curious hum left Dimitri’s lips as he guided Felix’s hand down his chest. “Are you alright, Felix?”

He tried to nod, to even shake his head, but he couldn’t. Dimitri would feel how hard he’d become in the mere moments he spent in the room with him. And Felix was eager to feel his actual fingers along his cock. But he still shuddered, he was still scared. But of what? They’d been touching each other for weeks now, this was nothing new. And yet he still wondered when the beast would break through and devour him whole. A part of Felix didn’t mind that thought.

Dimitri lifted up the hem of Felix’s night shift and wrapped both of their hands around his cock. “I see,” Dimitri mused, gently rubbing his own erection up against Felix’s backside.

The smallest bit of liquid seeped from the head of Felix’s cock and he fumbled his fingers over it, as if to hide it from Dimitri.

“It’s alright, Felix,” he whispered into his ear. “I can help you.”

“No!” Felix was louder than he had intended. With a hard swallow, he turned his body and faced Dimitri, shaking his hand off and slipping it under Dimitri’s shift, lightly grazing his fingers over his cock. He looked into Dimitri’s eyes briefly before looking up to the ceiling. “Together,” he said, nearly swallowing his voice.

Dimitri held Felix’s head with his free hand and placed a kiss on his forehead.

Suppressing a groan, Felix wrapped his fingers around the base of Dimitri’s cock and shuddered when Dimitri mirrored his actions. He kept his eyes down, focused on the awkward shifting beneath the fabric of their night clothes. He ran his hand up the length of Dimitri’s dick and stretched out a thumb, running it over the already wet head. He gasped as Dimitri did the same, but with much more conviction. It made Felix twitch his hips forward until their hands were touching again.

His eyes widened and heat flushed over his body. With a glance, he spotted the glazed look in Dimitri’s eyes, his mouth gaped open to catch his breath. He pressed his hips forward and fumbled his hand around both of their lengths, lacing his fingers between Felix’s once more.

Felix wormed around in his sheets and closed his mouth over Dimitri’s, letting their spit mix and drip down their chins and they pressed their cocks together, fingers exploring and tightening, their legs intertwining and the sheets gathering beneath them.

For all the moments he wished to feel Dimitri’s skin on his own, this was a full sensory overload for Felix’s. He could almost feel Dimitri’s pulse through his cock and his hips twitched wildly to bring his own closer. And even though they were touching, gliding over the thin wet fluid from each other, it still wasn’t enough.

Dimitri grabbed Felix’s hair, nearly pulling it, as his hips increased in rhythm, his mouth still locked in Felix’s, his cries muffled. He was at his limit, and so Felix gripped harder, rubbed faster, and Dimitri’s head fell back against the pillow, his spend spilling over both their hands. A shiver ran down Felix’s spine as the warm fluid coated his hands and his own hips twitched as he came but moments later.

Nothing but the sound of their breathing hung in the air, Felix’s fingers limp between their legs. He could have laid there forever, listening to Dimitri’s voice crack through his breaths, watch as the sweat glistened on his forehead only to be picked up by those bright, blonde locks.

Eventually, Dimitri opened his eyes and gave a weak smile before he untangled himself from Felix’s legs.

Felix’s heart sank at the absence of his warmth, but he bit his lip to prevent him from unleashing a pathetic whimper of protest. He watched Dimitri get out bed to rummage through the pile of used clothing on his floor, his cheeks pink as he noticed their spend dripping down the inside of this legs. Dimitri cleaned himself first and returned to bed, quickly wiping up Felix.

He nearly recoiled at the rough feel of the fabric, but Dimitri insisted. “We’ll be much more comfortable this way,” he said, his pink ears poking out from under his hair.

Felix looked away, but Dimitri soon returned, cuddling up beside him once more. “Good night, Felix,” he said, closing his eyes.

Sighing, Felix grabbed his hand, gently placed a kiss on his knuckles, and mumbled a quiet, “good night,” before sleep overcame him.

* * *

Felix was disappointed to find his bed empty in the morning. Generally, he woke up early to train, but Dimitri’s words held truth; he also slept better when they held hands. He sat up at the edge of his bed, trying to focus on the day ahead of him and not the events from the previous night. But the memory of Dimitri’s skin on his, the way he took his hand. He groaned and stood up, resigning himself to a day of hard training. But as he went to grab his uniform, he noticed the letter on his desk.

Dimitri had written the first line, started the letter for him.

“Great,” Felix said, rolling his eyes. “Now I have to finish it.”

It was unfortunate that he still couldn’t stop the flutter in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently, the last chapter was mistitled as Garland Moon. It's fixed now. One of these days, I'll get my chapter titles correct, lol.
> 
> Enjoy! More to come soon!
> 
> Why don't you say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)?!


	4. Blue Sea Moon - The Cathedral

The students of the Officers Academy had lined up among the pews in the back of the cathedral for Choir Practice that day. Separated by voice part, Dimitri stood with Dedue in the back where the tallest of the baritones and basses lined up. Craning his neck to peek around the sea of heads before him, Dimitri spotted Felix in the front row, standing beside Annette.

He wore his familiar glum expression and Dimitri found it quite peculiar that he had decided to stand in the front row. Upon further inspection, he noticed that Felix was sharing his score with Annette. He could just as easily have shared with Dimitri; he would have more than happy to hold it out in front of them, standing close, arms sliding up against one another, their breath occupying the same space in front of the music.

Dimitri closed his eyes and tried to shake away the blush that threatened his cheeks.

“Your Highness?” Dedue looked over, his brow lowered as it normally did when he expressed any sort of concern.

“It was just a fly, Dedue,” he quickly said, adding a laugh and a wave of his hand to further demonstrate his excuse. He breathed in and reviewed the music on the score sheet. He was thankful the words were written there, for reading music was never quite his specialty. In fact, the dots and lines and squiggles among the page meant nothing to him.

The choral director eventually arrived in a huff and quickly took her spot in front of the students. “I’m sorry I’m late. Are you all warmed up?”

Annette nodded excitedly and raised her hand, nearly jumping off the floor. “Oh, yes! We are! I lead everyone in warm-ups a few moments ago.”

Affirming nods and grunts rumbled through the students and the choir director gave Annette a small smile of thanks.

But she wasn’t the only one. Felix was smiling as well. It was just the corners of his lips, lifting up enough to showcase the defined structure of his cheekbones. Even his eyes glowed with warmth, as he took in Annette’s pride at leading her classmates in choir.

Dimitri’s chest constricted, his lungs barely allowing breath in. When was the last time he saw Felix smile? It had to have been years, back when they were children, but even so, Dimitri wondered if he had ever seen him smile in such a way.

Annette turned to Felix and said something quickly before the choral director raised her arms to begin the first piece of the day. Whatever she had said made Felix laugh. It wasn’t hearty or large, but it was definitely a laugh. His eyes closed, his lips parted, and his smile widened.

Dimitri didn’t bother to fight the blush this time, and missed the starting tempo for the piece; Felix was showing a rare beauty of his, and Dimitri couldn’t stand to look away.

Eventually, he found his place in the opening hymn (one he had known as a young boy, thank the Goddess). But even so, his mind raced. What had Annette said? How come Felix reserved such a face for her? True, she was a girl who brought cheer with her every step, even Dimitri found himself smiling in her presence. But that she seemed to have such an effect on Felix seemed unfair.

His fingers nearly poked through the scoresheet as the pangs of - jealousy? No, couldn’t be that - unease ebbed and flowed in his body. What he would give to have Felix smile at him like that.

The rest of choir practice continued as a melodic blur to Dimitri; he couldn’t even be sure he was singing at all. The hymns and other pieces of the afternoon mixed and melded in his brain, his focus only on Felix. While he spent most of the choral practice grimacing and, to be frank, not singing, there were moments where he would stop everything entirely and turn to Annette. He would close his eyes and the smile would flutter over his lips once more. Her voice…he must have liked the sound of her voice.

After the last song of the afternoon, the choral director applauded. “Excellent! Well done, all! You are dismissed for the day. If a few of you could stay to collect the music from everyone, I would greatly appreciate it. I have to run off to meet with the archbishop regarding our next Choir Festival!”

The students quickly filed out of the cathedral, all of them quite eager to get out and enjoy the summer sun instead of abiding to the director’s request. All, it seemed, except Felix. He had stayed behind to collect the now scattered sheets of music. All by himself.

Dimitri turned to Dedue. “I’m going to stay to help collect the music,” he said, taking Dedue’s sheet from his hand. “I think you should enjoy the garden today.”

Dedue started to open his mouth to protest, but one glance at Felix was all he needed. “Very well. Thank you, your highness.” With a simple nod, he had joined the rest of the retreating students, leaving the cathedral empty save for Dimitri, Felix, and the few monks who stood further out by the altar.

Dimitri tried his best to calculate his movement around the pews; Felix hadn’t seemed to notice him, his body dropping up and down to pick up discarded sheets that slipped to the floor. With a hard swallow, Dimitri weaved around the same row as Felix, minding his steps to be as quiet as possible. Just feet away, Dimitri leaned over and grabbed the edge of the paper Felix was about to touch.

He flinched and stood up, back straight, eyes wide. “D-dimi…” He stopped, and turned away, his ears red and his scowl prominent. “What are you doing, boar?”

“Oh, Felix,” Dimitri said, feigning a surprised laugh. “I’m so sorry, I was just picking up some of the discarded sheet music. I didn’t see you…”

“Obviously,” he spat, tossing the papers he collected onto the pew.

“Honestly, I thought I was the only one left. I figured you’d be off to train.”

“Yeah, well, Annette asked if I could help since she had to study, so…”

Annette…

Dimitri tried to smile, truly, but his cheeks would only rise so much. “That’s very kind of you…”

“Are you done? I _would_ like to finish so I could go off to train.”

Of course. Dimitri laughed and shook his head. “How very like you,” he said, bending down to grab a sheet that was just beneath Felix’s shoe. He tugged at the paper, but it would not budge. Still down on his knees, he glanced up and saw Felix looking out towards the door, his arms crossed over his chest. How could he get Felix to smile like he did earlier? He wrapped his hand around Felix’s ankle, meaning to simply lift his foot, but Felix yelped at the sudden grab and fell to the floor, his legs splayed out. At least Dimitri had succeed in lifting Felix’s foot from the sheet music.

“What did you do that for?!” Felix’s voice echoed throughout the cathedral. Dimitri quickly crawled up to Felix’s face, set right between his legs, and pushed a finger to his lips.

“I do apologize, I only meant to grab this stray piece of music, but you must mind your volume in the cathedral, Felix.” Slowly, his finger slipped down and fell to Felix’s chest. He watched his finger move down and settle upon Felix’s pants.

Felix’s eyes were wide, his body shaking. “Don’t get any funny ideas, boar, there are other people in here.”

Dimitri laughed and grasped at Felix’s groin; he had already grown relatively hard in these few moments. “So we must do well to mind our volume.” He gripped at the top of Felix’s pants and slowly pulled them down, releasing his cock.

“You’re really going for it, aren’t you,” Felix said through a laugh. “You truly are a beast, doing such a thing in a place like this.”

Dimitri looked up to Felix; a smirk, nothing like the smile he had given to Annette, but it was something.

But he brought up a valid point. Dimitri gazed up at the ceiling above; to do such an act in the hall of the Goddess, before her very eyes. She had to know how he felt every time he looked at Felix, though, every moment he spent thinking of him. He swallowed hard and looked into Felix’s eyes. “Yes,” he choked out. “Yes I am.”

He wrapped his hand around the base of Felix’s cock and leaned forward to kiss him before a sound could dare escape his mouth. He thought of the night they shared a bed, how warm Felix was in his hands. He wanted to tear off his gauntlets, to feel Felix’s heat once again, but he didn’t want to risk making another sound. They were on the floor, between the pews. Anyone walking down the center aisle of the cathedral would be able to see them. The thought made Dimitri’s heart skip a beat, but the thrill of it made his own cock twitch.

He pulled back, licking up Felix’s spit that had dripped down his chin.

Felix’s chest heaved, his eyes dazed, and his face flushed. No smile, though. Not even a smirk. “Just do it already, boar…”

Dimitri slid down along Felix’s body and took the head of his cock into his mouth.

Felix stifled a cry into his shoulder, and Dimitri watched his teeth bite into the fabric of his sleeve as his tongue rolled along the head. He picked up some of slick droplets that were budding from the tip; how he wished he could taste it.

He slipped further down, letting the head of Felix’s cock graze along the roof of his mouth. Another muffled cry and Dimitri continued to run his hand along the base of Felix’s cock.

A whimper managed its way out of Felix’s mouth and Dimitri glanced up, but was only met with a hand grasping at his hair. “Don’t stop,” Felix whispered through hot breaths, his eyes heavily lidded. Still not a smile, but a look Dimitri knew no one else would receive. He closed his eyes and continued, bobbing his head along the length of Felix’s cock. He continued to lap up the pre-cum until suddenly, his mouth was full.

Felix gripped Dimitri’s hair, nearly pulling out strands, his moan caught in his throat as he filled his mouth with his sleeve. Within moments, his body went limp, fingers tangled within blonde locks, before falling to the floor.

Dimitri closed his eyes and swallowed down Felix’s spend, shivering as the warmth trickled down his throat. He lapped up what he could as his mouth slipped up and off Felix’s cock.

He sat there on the cathedral floor, propped up on all floors as a trickle of cum painted his chin. Felix’s expression was beautiful; lips red and raw from chewing the fabric of his sleeve, sweat gliding down the length of his nose, eyes shut, mouth agape. He crawled over, desperate to seal the image in his head with a kiss, but Felix’s eyes flashed open and he pushed himself away, haphazardly tucking his shame back into his pants.

“I have to…return these,” he said, standing up and grabbing the stack of sheet music he had tossed to the pew. He nearly slipped as he ran out of the cathedral.

Dimitri sat there on the floor, alone. He was indeed a beast, hungry for more. But he knew Felix could only stomach so much of him. He sighed and looked back up towards the ceiling, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Goddess, forgive me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while for me, really struggled getting it together. Thanks for your patience!


	5. Verdant Rain Moon - Stables

“I have stable duty!”

The scream nearly tore at his throat, but Felix didn’t care. He stormed out of the knight’s hall, fists balled up tight at his sides, and turned for the stables; anything to avoid his father. Why did he even come down to Garreg Mach? The business with Sylvain’s brother was up in Fraldarius territory. Shouldn’t he be up there, doing his job? The professor would make sure they were plenty prepared for such a fight. His father’s presence wasn’t needed!

He groaned, and while he hadn’t lied to his father about being on stable duty that day, he was arriving late. It was easy to lose track of time in the training grounds, though his partner for the day was the boar which made it much easier for him to lose track of time while training.

“You have such an incredible way with him, Marianne!”

He froze, mere yards away from Dimitri. He was with that quiet, fidgety girl from the Golden Deer house, the one who always ran away if you so much as even breathed in her direction. But not with him, apparently. Dimitri was able to stand at her side. And he was…smiling.

It wasn’t his usual mask of a smile that he wore to hide the beast brewing inside, his way of charming everyone into his guise as a prince, no. This one was real. Genuine. One he hadn’t seen in years. And he was giving it to her? Of all people?

Marianne’s head was low, but Felix could see the smile on her face, too. Meek and small, with a gentle blush of pink on her cheeks.

“Hey,” he yelled, storming towards the pair.

It was enough to frighten her off. She skittered away in the opposite direction, and Dimitri reached out after her, but she was surprisingly quick on her feet. He gave up and turned to face Felix, his annoyance at the situation palpable.

“We’re the ones with stable duty,” Felix scoffed. “What was she doing here?”

Dimitri tried to laugh it off, but his brows couldn’t help but to furrow in frustration. “You’re quite right that we were the ones on stable duty for today, but I’m not sure if you’re aware that we were supposed to meet an hour ago.”

Felix grumbled under his breath and looked off to the side; he hadn’t realized the whole hour had passed while he was at the training grounds.

“All is well,” Dimitri said with a sigh, reaching down to grab a wooden pail filled with brushes. “Marianne offered her assistance. We finished quite some time ago, actually.”

“Then why were you still here?”

Dimitri’s eyes looked down and the warmth of his smile from earlier returned. “She was introducing me to Dorte.”

“The horse?”

“She’s has a knack with animals; she can read their body language, knows when they’re upset…”

“It’s just a fucking horse.”

Dimitri’s chest shuddered as he took in a larger breath, his face contorting to show he had truly lost his patience. He marched up to Felix and shoved the pail in his hands. “How about you help me clean up instead of standing there with that grimace on your face? Since you wanted to be on stable duty so badly.”

“H-hey!!”

Dimitri ignored him and walked back to the horse, grabbing more supplies that were scattered about the ground. He moved quickly into the open stable, Felix running after him.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

Rolling his eyes, Dimitri snatched the pail from Felix and placed it in its proper spot. “Honestly, Felix, you would know if you were more responsible about your duties…”

“Your Highness?”

Felix’s eyes widened at the sound of his father’s voice and immediately, he plastered his body against the wall of the stable beside the door, hoping to avoid another awkward encounter with him.

Dimitri glanced to the side, his eyes scanning over Felix. With a hand hovering over Felix’s chest, he cautiously stepped outside the stable, leaving one foot inside. “Rodrigue, I’m so sorry, but I’m finishing up my duties for the day.”

“Understood, Your Highness. I was just wondering if you’ve seen Felix at all? I wanted a word with him and he said something about having to attend stable duty.”

Felix’s eyes darted towards Dimitri, his head shaking vigorously.

With the slightest of pressure, Dimitri pressed into Felix’s chest and gave a small laugh. “It seems he skipped out, leaving me to clean the stables by myself.”

“Perhaps he went back to the training grounds? Or maybe he went to the dining hall for dinner.”

Dimitri shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” he said, and soon his footsteps echoed in the distance.

Eventually, Felix could hear nothing but his own breathing and the shuffling of Dimitri’s feet. His hand was still pressed to his chest and he noticed how a finger had started to twitch, itching to slip under the fabric of Felix’s vest. Soon, Dimitri was up against him, his nose inches from Felix’s.

Felix tried looking into his eyes for answers, but they were already heavily lidded and downcast, focused only on touching Felix.

“Boar, why did you…?”

“Maybe you’re not the only one who’s trying to avoid him right now.” His voice was deep, but hushed, and he moved is, brushing his nose against Felix’s cheek until their lips were touching. His hand flinched from Felix’s chest and went right for his wrist, pinning him to the wall of the stable, while running his knee along the inside of Felix’s thigh.

Felix squirmed under Dimitri’s hold, but opened his mouth, inviting the boar to consume him. It only too a few moments before Dimitri released his hold so that Felix could wrap his arms around him, bringing him in close. The image of the boar’s smile from earlier lingered in his mind which didn’t help the throbbing in his pants. How dare he share such a smile with such a timid girl? If only he could look at Felix that way. Again…

He gasped when Dimitri’s knee lifted to nudge at his groin, now uncomfortably erect in his pants. He looked into Dimitri’s eyes, clouded, and his lips parted and wet. No smile, but the panting would do for now. He grabbed Dimitri by the collar and pulled him close, whispering in his ear. “Touch me, boar.”

Dimitri didn’t hesitate to oblige, but the clanking of the gauntlets pierced at Felix’s ears.

“Take those off,” he said, his voice rumbling in his chest as his teeth pulled at Dimitri’s earlobe. “I want to feel your _hands_ on me.”

He could hear Dimitri laugh, right into his own ear, and it sent a shiver down his spine. “Of course,” he said, gliding his nose down Felix’s neck before biting deep. In a few swift movements, his gauntlets fell to the dirt and his hands were in Felix’s pants.

Felix’s breath hitched at the warmth grabbing hold of his cock, fingers dancing over his own pulsating heat.

Dimitri gripped Felix’s shoulder with his free hand and spun him, shoving his chest up against the wall of the stable. With a light thrust up against his ass, Felix’s could feel how hard Dimitri had become, his hand busy jerking him off.

Arching his back, Felix closed his eyes and shuddered as beads of his precum started to coat Dimitri’s hand. His fingers slipped against the wood, sweat trickling down his back. His pants suddenly slipped down his hips as Dimitri’s other hand began to cup his ass, shaking fingers digging into flesh. Turning back, he met Dimitri’s eyes at an angle and held his gaze. For all the stupid things they had managed to do on campus, this was the furthest they had taken it. And Felix didn’t care. He reached for Dimitri’s hair and pulled him close, nearly missing his mouth, and desperately kissed him. “Do it, boar.”

He bit down on Dimitri’s lip and only released it when he felt Dimitri’s wet hand round over to his ass, his fingers slipping to the center to press up against his hole.

Felix cried out when Dimitri’s thumb slipped inside, stretching and pulling so another finger could slip in. A shock ran up Felix’s spine and his neck tilted back, allowing Dimitri to bite down while his fingers explored Felix inside, searching for that sweet spot.

It felt strange but oddly satisfying, having the boar touch him in such a way. He gasped out when Dimitri stretched him wide enough to slip in a third finger and eventually, they nicked a spot that made Felix cry out, his knees nearly buckling from the sensation. But Dimitri held him upright, his hand back on Felix’s chest while the other continued to stretch and prod.

“Felix,” he said, his breath louder than his voice, “may I…”

He rubbed his cock between Felix’s cheeks, the tip nudging at his stretched rim. A drip of precum smeared against Felix’s ass and slid down between his shaking legs.

All Felix could do was nod, his voice completely taken from him. In a brief moment, Dimitri’s fingers left him, immediately replaced by the head of his cock, pushing in, spreading Felix wider than before.

“Ah, D…Dimitri,” he said, spittle dripping down his chin. His hand slipped over the wood wall, but Dimitri still held him tight at his chest, while he resumed to jerking Felix off to the rhythm of his thrusts.

The whole length of Dimitri’s cock was inside of him and Felix could feel his body melting over it. He slipped out and pushed back in, every time hitting the same spot as before, reducing Felix to mere yells and cries, his own cock twitching and ready to burst. Dimitri could give that girl all the smiles he could offer if it meant Felix could have him this way every time. His hand was shaking over Felix’s cock, but it was just enough to send him over the edge, and after a few more thrusts, Felix came to the warmth of Dimitri’s seed spilling inside of him.

Felix practically slumped back into Dimitri’s arms, all his energy sapped from him in the moment. Dimitri laughed and held him close, brushing hair away from his sweaty brow.

“Perhaps…we should be on stable duty together more often.”

Still high on his own euphoria, Felix nodded and looked up into Dimitri’s eyes. More time with him, more time for this, more time for…

No.

Felix pushed himself out of Dimitri’s arms and hastily pulled his pants up, aware too late of the mess now within them. He grimaced, Dimitri’s spend still deep in him, bits of it trickling down his pant leg.

“Don’t c-count on it, boar,” he spat, avoiding looking into Dimitri’s eyes. He had to get back to his dorm room quickly, and without anyone seeing him, let alone his father.

“Felix, wait!”

He couldn’t stand how Dimitri’s voice faded behind him as he rounded the corner out of the stables and weaved his way through the pillars of the monastery. How could he let himself do such things with a beast like that? And why did he ache for it every moment he saw him, every time those blue eyes looked at him?

“Tch, you fool,” Felix spat as his clambered up the stairs of the dorms, but he stopped at the top stair and tried to hold back the tears.

Why was he always so eager to have Dimitri hold him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This past week was not nice to me in terms of writing motivation, but I finally broke through to finish up this chapter. And I'm quite pleased with it. Enjoy!!
> 
> Also, no disrespect to Marianne. Felix is just a pain in the ass, haha.
> 
> Say hi on [Twitter!!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	6. Horsebow Moon - Library

Dimitri found the perfect spot in the library where he could watch the sunlight fade into the dark blue night from the windows out in the hall. But as relaxing as he found that sight, he was still determined to find the answers he needed. A girl was missing, along with two professors, and the rumors around campus were circulating.

They couldn’t have gone far, they had to be somewhere on the grounds. And though he had recently grown familiar with Abyss, it couldn’t have been that simple. There had to be more to this campus that had yet to be uncovered, other secret passageways and hidden halls that could lead to their whereabouts. If the library couldn’t provide him with answers, then he would venture below to see if Abyss could lend a clue.

Long after the sunlight had traded its post with moonlight, the library had all but emptied, save for Dimitri and his piles of books. He poured over them until the wax from the candle at his table started to pour onto his note papers.

“So, you’ve been here.”

Dimitri flinched and looked up at Felix, the single flame of the candle flickering small shadows across his face. He had been looking for Dimitri and so much as ventured into unfamiliar territory (as far as Dimitri was concerned) to find him. He tried to hold back his smile, his excitement at the thought that Felix had been concerned for him, and sought him out.

“Ah, Felix, yes, I’ve been looking into…”

“It’s late.”

He knew that. “Yes, I believe I’ve lost track of the time.”

“Later than normal.”

Had Felix also stayed up that late, to find him? To search for him? Dimitri was glad for the darkness, so it could hide the warmth flowing within him and out to the tip of his ears.

Felix picked up a book, long since discarded to the edge of the table and studied it. “What are you even doing?”

“Trying to find any clues that will help us locate Flayn.”

A puff of air left Felix’s nose quite audibly as he scanned the shelves around him. “And you believe the library will help you with that? Old books and histories?”

“Building plans,” Dimitri said, standing up to take the book back. “Anything that will hint of some hidden area. I don’t believe they’ve gone far. I’m convinced they are somewhere on these grounds. And I will find Flayn and Professor Manuela and…”

Felix snatched the book back and walked towards a shelf at the back end of the library. His fingers gliding along the edges of spines and Dimitri lost himself in how slender they were, how they scanned titles before slipping the book back into the shelf.

“You won’t find them here,” he scoffed, walking back to the table. “I doubt the church would leave their vulnerabilities open to the public in a place like this.” He grabbed another book, one that had fallen to a chair, and went searching for its place.

“I believe you’re correct with that, Felix,” Dimitri said through a laugh, trying to preserve some sense of dignity. “But it’s worth a try. Now if you would please, I’ll take care of…”

“It’s late,” Felix said, more stern than before. His eyes were thin, his jaw rigid. “I’m helping you clean up so you can at least get some sleep.”

Sleep…

It had evaded him for so long now, but that Felix cared enough. Searching the grounds for him in the dead of night, cleaning up a mess that wasn’t his. Dimitri dropped his head and scanned over his notes. Nothing he had found would help him. And Felix was right; he would not find what he was looking for here. Tomorrow night, he would venture back into Abyss. He was determined…

“And don’t go doing anything stupid to try to find them.” Felix’s palm was flat on the table, his fingers over Dimitri’s scribbled notes. How he wanted to grab that hand, touch those fingers. He closed his eyes tight.

“And why are you so concerned?”

Felix’s brow lifted before immediately falling as he turned his face away. “That…”

Dimitri laughed a grabbed a small pile of books. “I’m teasing, Felix, can’t I do just that?” He took his pile to the back corner, set them to the floor, and started the place them back where he found them. Reaching for the next book on the pile, he found his hand upon Felix’s. He looked up, but did not meet his eyes. He smiled, stroking one of Felix’s knuckles until they flinched away.

“Thank you,” he said, gripping his hand tight, “for worrying for me.”

“I wasn’t worried!” Felix tried to take his hand back, but Dimitri had rounded on him, resting his hand on his hip. “Idiot,” he cursed under his breath. He looked up and met Dimitri’s eyes.

“I am,” Dimitri admitted, closing the distance and pressing his lips up against Felix’s, immediately parting them to nip at his lip. Felix shuddered, but instead of pulling back, he gripped the front of Dimitri’s uniform and pulled him close until they both tumbled to the ground, the small pile of books beside them following suit, and Dimitri now hovering over Felix’s body on the floor. Dimitri tried not to laugh and he slipped his tongue inside Felix’s mouth, finding his and shivering at the wet warmth he found.

He had forgotten, in that moment, what had even brought him to the library in the first place; his hand found Felix’s once more and he laced his fingers within the empty spaces, gripping tight. His other hand, still firm on Felix’s hip, slipped under the fabric of Felix’s vest and shirt.

Felix whimpered, his mouth open for Dimitri to dive in deeper, and that’s when Dimitri remembered: his gloves. He lifted up from Felix and smirked, noticing how he had completely straddled him upon the floor. Carefully, he removed his gauntlets and tossed them to the side, eager for his hands to resume their work. “I forgot, my apologies,” he said against Felix’s neck. And Felix had a point; this way, Dimitri could feel the softness of Felix’s skin, the way it fluttered under his touch. His hand continued to slip under Felix’s shirt until it came upon a hard nipple. Dimitri breathed hard against Felix’s neck, mustering all of his strength to just slightly tease the nub.

Felix cried out, his back arching, pushing his stomach up against Dimitri’s chest. His feet kicked a squirmed, knocking books about as they glided along the floor. Dimitri looked back. “We were supposed to clean those up, weren’t we?”

“Boar,” Felix nearly growled, and Dimitri looked back, shocked.

“Yes, Felix?”

His nose wrinkled up and his head fell back against the floor. “Stop…teasing me…”

But it was too much fun, Dimitri had to admit. He looked forward to these moments, and though they weren’t that rare, they were still private, even if not in private settings. Felix still scoffed at him at the training grounds, in the classroom, on the battlefield. Insulted him when given the chance, and audibly disrespected him in front of any who would see. But just the two of them, and he would open up, letting his body beg for touch. His eyes, hooded and desperate.

Dimitri closed his eyes; as enticing as the image was, his heart ached for more. More than just the physical, more than just late night encounters. Felix still averted his gaze, and to friendly warmth of their childhood had withered away. Would such meetings ever rekindle what they once had?

In truth, it didn’t really matter. At least, not in the moment. He could feel the tightness growing in his pants and see Felix struggle to contain his own erection. He pulled up Felix’s shirt, and felt the flush on his face upon seeing his nipples, pink and perky. He leaned down and latched his mouth around one as he continued to pinch and squeeze the other. He flicked his tongue along the tender nub, grating his teeth against the skin on his chest.

Felix cried out, his legs nearly thrashing beneath Dimitri, nudging up against the growing bulge in his pants. His mouth fell off Felix’s nipple in a cry, but he was determined to continue his work, latching right back on.

Felix’s hands gripped at Dimitri’s shoulders, wrapping one in his bright blue cape. He gripped and pulled, nearly tearing it off the clasp. Dimitri looked up and puffed a breath over the wetness now on Felix’s nipple. He swallowed hard, admiring the creases at the corner of Felix’s eyes and the way his tears filled the space.

“Beautiful,” he gasped, crawling up to kiss the tear drops away.

Felix flashed his eyes open and stared, his face completely red. “What?”

Dimitri smiled and shook his head, slipping his hand from Felix’s chest down his stomach and settling on his groin. “Nothing,” he said, gripping tight so that Felix’s head could fall back against the floor. He could have stared forever; his body almost writhing on the floor, his neck exposed, his chest nearly as pink as his nipples. Dimitri licked his lips and swallowed hard. His hand pulled down the front of Felix’s pants and he grabbed his dick, waiting for that cry to escape his throat with a bob of his adam’s apple.

“F-fuck, boar!”

He would. His hand did not settle long on Felix’s cock, maneuvering down, under and over his balls and right for his twitching hole. He pressed two fingers up against and nearly gasped when Felix nearly readily opened for him.

His heart was racing, slipping both fingers in as Felix cried out. He closed his eyes, slipping deeper and exploring. He remembered where Felix like to be touched best, or he thought he did. He leaned over, licking over the already wet nipple to busy himself while he searched.

“Th-there!! Ah,” Felix cried, his hands losing his grip on the cape.

Dimitri rubbed firmer at the spot inside, and he could feel the front of his uniform growing wet from the fluid now seeping from Felix’s cock. A third finger twitched as he began to stretch Felix out more, joining the other two to send more shivers up Felix’s spine. But he was practically at his limit.

“Felix, I…”

“Just do it already,” Felix spat, his chest rising and falling.

Of course. Dimitri pulled his fingers out, Felix gasping, and pulled his pants down to his ankles. He ran a hand over the tip of Felix’s cock, glossing his palm with the precum. He released his own cock and jerked himself ready, moaning at the sensation of Felix’s wet warmth over him. He was more than ready, pushing Felix’s knees aside and looking down at the sight before him, even more beautiful than before. He bit his lip and pushed his cock in, Felix much more welcoming than the last time. He thrust the head of his cock inside and gasped as Felix tightened around him. He tilted his head back, hands gripping Felix’s knees, and as he pushed the down, Felix spread wider and with another thrust, he was completely sheathed, nicking Felix’s sweet spot on the way.

Felix held a hand against the spines of the books on the bottom shelf, gripping at some to send them to the floor. He glanced up, and swallowed hard, but before his mouth could open to spit a curse or an insult, Dimitri sealed it closed, kissing him hard and starting a rhythm to fuck Felix properly. With each suppressed moan, Dimitri could feel Felix’s tongue flutter against his and it sent a pulse down to his cock. He gripped his hands on Felix’s thighs, right under his knees, to spread his legs even wider, pushing small bruises into his skin.

Dimitri continued to push through and soon, Felix’s head fell back as he cried out; his cock spilled hot white come over his stomach and he clenched hard around Dimitri’s cock, almost enough to send Dimitri over the edge. He was close.

A few more bursts spit out from Felix’s shaft and he whined as Dimitri continued. He leaned down, licking up bits of spend that traveled up by his nipple. He lapped it up, letting the warmth trickle down his throat and moaned against wet skin as he came hard inside of Felix.

Felix let out a shuddering yelp, his legs twitching against Dimitri’s hold, and they both fell limp upon the floor. Hot, messy, and wrapped in each other’s hold. Dimitri’s head rested beside Felix’s chest and he watched, dazed, as the rise and fall of his chest slowed to normal breathing. He had released his legs, letting them fall limp at his sides, but kept his fingers on them to stroke his sweat soaked skin.

Why had he gone to the library? What were they even cleaning up? It mattered not at all. Dimitri’s eyes caught a beam of moonlight as it spilled along the floor from the hallway windows, and he laughed, thankful for the time of the night; surely, no one would have walked in on such a display.

Felix stirred beneath him, shaking hands pushing Dimitri away. “Get off me, boar,” he groaned, sitting himself up on his elbows, trying to keep himself steady.

Dimitri pushed himself up but stopped himself as his saw the pearly mess on Felix’s body; he could clean that all right now if Felix would allow it. Lap it all up and swallow it down, and Felix would be in him. But soon, Felix’s knee was pressed against his chest, pushing him away, and he slipped out of Felix with a sickening squelch of a sound.

Felix grimaced and pulled the cape loose from the clasp on Dimitri’s uniform, wiping his chest clean. “Take care of the books, will you? This is all your doing anyway.”

Dimitri nodded as he stood up, fixing himself back into his pants and looking down at the books Felix had kicked about the floor. He could have stared at Felix cleaning himself off all night, he hands working between his legs, as he winced the clean up the more intimate parts. He swallowed hard, knowing full well the library had to be back in pristine order for the morning.

By that time, the candle at the table had gone out and the wax had dried up, but Dimitri set himself to task and put away all the books. Felix was now standing, his clothes back on properly, albeit haphazardly. The blue cape lay at the floor and Felix was wiping up their spend with his foot.

“I suppose I’ll need a new one made.”

Felix rolled his eyes, picking it up, and tossed the soiled cape at Dimitri’s face. “Just get it cleaned, idiot. Now come on, I came to fetch you to get you to bed.”

“Right,” Dimitri said, resting his cape on his arm and following Felix out into the hall. He smiled the whole way back to the dorm, thankful that Felix was in front of him, unable to see. For now, he would keep this brief moment of happiness to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy!


	7. Wyvern Moon - Knight's Hall

The victory on the field of the Eagle and Lion surged euphoria through Felix’s veins. An opportunity to test his mettle, striking down classmates and opponents who barely met his match, cross blades with the few who truly presented a challenge; it was the best day he had experienced since enrolling in the Officers Academy.

And yet Felix sat alone in the knight’s hall and stared into the fire, hoping it would burn away the vision he had just seen in the dining hall. That cursed von Riegan, draping himself so shamelessly over Dimitri, his hand hovering over his chest, fingers twitching, eager to grab hold of the boar. Even the way he glanced over at Felix, smugly goading the fact that he was touching him, close enough to smell him. And in public! The boar didn’t even seem to mind. In fact, it looked as if he enjoyed having the idiot fawn over him, singing his praises for his class’ victory that day. He couldn’t trust those green eyes; they knew. Every time they looked over Felix, they said:

_This is exactly what you want, isn’t it? You just want to be all over him…_

He grumbled under his breath and dug his fingers in his hair. Humiliating. Absolutely humiliating. Felix had stormed out of the dining hall, but not one seemed to notice, least of all, the boar. And why would he? Fraternizing with a fellow House Leader was par for the course, Felix was just unaware of how close they had gotten. Claude shared jokes with him, eagerly sat beside him, and treated him like a…

Felix’s heart sank. What was stopping him from pushing Claude away and taking all of Dimitri’s attention, right there, in front of everyone? His chest tightened at the thought, and he knew he couldn’t. Perhaps Dimitri was better off with Claude. They would indeed be rulers in the future, keeping the balance of Fódlan in their respective lands and truly working together, not necessarily as equals, but certainly more so than Felix would with Dimitri.

He sighed and stared into the fire once more, embers spitting from the few remaining logs as the small flames ate what they could. He wanted the heat to burn away his shame, burn away his fear. Perhaps then he could be more honest with himself around Dimitri…

“Felix!”

But perhaps not at that moment.

He jolted in his seat and looked up to see the boar, running into the knight’s hall out of breath, his nose pink from the chill of the autumn air. “I’ve been looking for you! Why did you leave the feast so soon, I was hoping to…”

“You know I don’t like crowds,” Felix mused, looking back into the fire.

“Ah,” Dimitri said, a light laugh under his breath. “Quite right, I remember that time when we were children, walking in the capital and you clutched at my side the whole time.”

“If you came here to tell embarrassing tales from our childhood, you can go now. I’m fine. Go back to your feast.” _Go back to him._

Dimitri walked over and stepped behind the bench, resting his hands on Felix’s shoulders. “I wanted to be with you tonight, Felix.”

“Tch, sure.” _To get your fill of me and then be on your way, I bet._

Their encounters had grown more salacious in the past months, and Dimitri had worked his way to make Felix come quicker each time. But they always left Felix wanting more, his chest tight, his head stuffy as he lay on the bed or where ever, covered in his own spend, as Dimitri left him. And there were just as many times when Felix left abruptly, unwilling to be held by someone who only wanted sex. And nothing more.

Dimitri’s thumbs dug into Felix’s back, moving in circles at his shoulder blades. He leaned over and kissed the shell of Felix’s ear, but Felix merely swatted him off like a fly.

“I’m not in the mood,” he spat, his chin shivering beneath his words. “Go fuck someone else.”

“Felix?”

“I said leave me alone! If you need to get off, why don’t you go back to von Riegan? He couldn’t keep his hands off you earlier.”

He wasn’t expecting Dimitri to grab his shoulder, but he should have anticipated the the strength of his pull. He had practically climbed over the back of the bench and pushed Felix down along the length of the seat. He hovered over him, his blue eyes bright, wide, and wild. Felix felt the air rush out of his lungs at the sight, a face he had seen two years prior, on the battlefield. Suddenly, he regretted the harshness behind his words.

His other hand grabbed Felix by his chin and squeezed tight, just enough to keep Felix still, though his own fear was doing that for him. The flickering flames of the fire were doing little to burn it away; instead, they only intensified it, throwing wild shadows across the beast’s face, contorting it into the face Felix knew he always had.

And then Dimitri’s hold slackened. And he sat back on the bench. The face of the beast fell back into that of a boy, only it had grown ghost white. Dimitri held out his hands in front of him, his whole body shaking, enough to make the bench move.

Felix scurried back and nearly fell off the bench, now free from Dimitri’s hold.

“Felix, I…”

“Don’t,” Felix managed to choke out, stepping off the bench and backing up, shaking his head. “Don’t come near me, _boar_!” The ferocity with which he screamed nearly tore at his throat, enough to distract Felix from the shaking of his own body.

Dimitri’s head fell in his hands. “I only wanted to check on you, I was…”

Felix shook his head, trying to forget that his words may have unleashed the beast; it didn’t matter.

“Please,” he cried, tears streaming down his face. He got up and hobbled over to Felix, his hands outstretched. “Forgive me, I…I…”

Felix instinctively reached up for his neck, still warm and raw from the grab.

At that, Dimitri stopped and looked down at his hands, shaking his head. “No,” he said softly, through a pathetic laugh. “I…that was out of line. I shouldn’t have…” He turned to leave, leaving Felix with nothing but the sound of his steps and crackling flames. He was mere steps away from walking out of the knight’s hall when Felix yelled.

“Wait!”

He looked over his shoulder, eyes still misty from tears.

Felix shook his head, unsure why he even bothered. This was proof that Dimitri was nothing more than a creature thirsty for blood. Felix had been right the whole time, and yet…

Felix ran up to him, and grabbed Dimitri’s wrist, though he was still shaking.

Dimitri smiled that stupid sad smile of his and rested his hand against Felix’s chin. “No, Felix, you’re right.” And he leaned down to kiss him, but their lips barely touched.

It was not enough but just too much. The fear had settled in the back of Felix’s throat like bile and he pushed away, his palms flat against Dimitri’s chest. He couldn’t; that face was too fresh in his mind. But he could still fill that, gnawing at him in the back of his mind.

“Just…don’t touch me,” he whispered, getting down to his knees and lifting up the bottom of Dimitri’s top. He wanted to look up, but he dared not to. This would be fine. Satiate the boar, ease him down. That was his goal. He worked on the front of Dimitri’s pants, releasing his cock and took hold, trickling his fingers along the underside until it began to twitch.

“Felix.” Dimitri reached to pet Felix’s hair, but Felix slapped his hand away.

“Don’t. Touch.” His voice was firm, and Dimitri followed the command, Felix’s fingers moving to his balls, just delicately gliding skin against skin. Dimitri took in a sharp breath through his teeth as his cock hardened, and Felix used his other hand to continue stroking.

He ignored his own pulses, his body twitching against his resolve not to look at the boar, just to service him. He felt Dimitri firm up in his hands, and his hips twitched forward when Felix pinched a sensitive spot on his balls with just the slightest pressure. Dimitri cried out and fell against the was, his fingertips crushing into the stone.

Felix wanted to look up, but instead, closed his eyes and wrapped his lips around Dimitri’s shaft. Keeping his other hand cupped around Dimitri’s balls, teasing and enticing, his other hand dropped to his own hip and fingers slipped under the waistband of his pants, rounding on his ass. He dragged his tongue along the underside, feeling the pulsating veins that continued to harden Dimitri’s cock. Beads of precum began to coat his throat and he winced as he pushed a finger against his tight hole.

He could hear nothing but Dimitri’s breathing, hitched, erratic. Satiate the boar, he thought to himself, but only so much.

He moved his hand from balls to base and gripped tight, letting the next sound escape from Dimitri’s mouth invite another finger into him. He moaned around Dimitri’s cock as he padded his own insides, wishing to swap his fingers for the cock in his own mouth.

But not tonight.

He winced and slipped his mouth off Dimitri’s cock and finally gathered to courage to look up. Dimitri’s eyes were wide, but not wild. And that was enough.

He slipped his fingers out of his ass and wiped them on Dimitri’s uniform, standing up and turning away.

“Finish off however you please,” he spat, moving to the doorway of the knight’s hall. “Just don’t come looking for me.”

Dimitri’s voice echoed behind him, but faded in the distance. Felix looked up to the sky, the breeze cold against his skin, nearly forcing his body to cool down.

Not tonight…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to introduce a little dark!Dimitri since it's getting closer to the end of the school year. 
> 
> Next chapter might be up a little later next week, thanks for reading!!


	8. Red Wolf Moon - Entrance Hall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some graphic descriptions of violence at the beginning of this one. Heads up!

To a bloody haze of past and present nightmares, Dimitri tossed in his sleep. The screams of the murdered echoed throughout his mind, suppressing any other thought, any hint of peace. His father’s head rolled at his feet, bright red pooling from his neck as his blue eyes were held open wide, their color fading slowly, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. A shock seared up his spine to the sound of Glenn’s screams, his fingers frantically grasping at his sword as soldiers, enemies, demons marched on and skewered his body with spears, his face reeling with the horror of it all.

Dimitri watched on, helpless to the nightmares, to the blood, to the screams, as they melded into a cacophony, the images swirling into one. He grasped at the blackness of the air, wishing to grip onto something, and when the darkness finally subsided, he was met with wide, hazel eyes, pupils dark black pools, shaking with fear. Felix, his face stark white, his chin shuddering, spit bubbling at the corners of his lips. And a familiar hand was upon his neck, clutching, choking, cutting out his life…

Dimitri bolted upright in his bed, his nightclothes stuck to his sweat soaked skin, shivers continuously running up his spine. He grasped his chest, trying to ease his heart into calm rhythm, but it would take more than his hand. Especially since his dreams had just reminded him what it could do.

He groaned and dropped his head, cradling it in his shivering fingers. Sleep never came easy to him, and in the rare cases that it did, he was met with the same old visions of pain and suffering but now he was introduced to a new haunt.

“Felix,” he cried softly, trying to hold back his tears. He hadn’t touched Felix since that night, hadn’t even looked at him, or at least, tried not to. Every time he would attempt conversation, the same vision of Felix’s face, wrecked with fear, nearly gasping for breath, would overtake his consciousness. And for all he was aware, Felix was avoiding him, too. For Felix to even suggest he “find someone else” was proof enough; he had grown tired of Dimitri and was just spending time with him to satiate some bothersome lust, to get it out before it distracted him further. And with the incident from last moon, Felix definitely had moved on. Probably to Sylvain, who would be much more talented in attending to Felix’s pleasures.

The mere thought took all the air from Dimitri’s lungs and he pressed his ear to the wall, only breathing in when he heard nothing but silence. He pressed his hand firmly to his chest, thankful that his heart returned to a somewhat normal pace. But the thoughts still plagued him.

For Dimitri, his meetings with Felix meant more than just fulfilling an inner, adolescent lust. But he couldn’t find the right words to fully describe what it meant to feel Felix’s lips against his, to hold him in his arms, to fell his skin on his fingers, picking up the slightest bit of sweat, streaking it down his back.

His cheeks grew hot, and he knew the more intimate encounters had taken over his mind, causing a numbing throb between his legs. He drew in a hard breath and stepped out of bed, rummaging though a pile of clothes to put something decent on; a pair of trousers and a plain under shirt. He quickly dressed and drew on a pair of boots, making for the door and nearly running through the hall, down to the stairwell. He needed air, fresh air. Something to quell the throbbing in his head, to set aside the face of Felix flashing in his visions, fearful, terrified, haunted.

He met the night air with a sigh of relief; autumn was in full force, winter just about to rear its head and Dimitri welcomed it. It froze his mind and his thoughts, even if just for a moment, and let him revel in a moment of clarity. Yes. He missed this, almost craved it, embraced it, especially after spending months in the Southern summer. He stood there for a moment before his feet began to move, taking him past the greenhouse and around the pond, nothing but the sound of his footsteps on stone and the occasional breeze against his ear.

Dimitri glanced out onto the water, lightly lapping up against the dock when a larger fish swam by, and smiled. It was a lovely night, now that he was separated from the nightmares.

He continued on his way, marveling at the way the moon cast its beams against the monastery walls, how the glass panes of the windows seemed to shine in its light. He wound around the corner and closed his eyes, taking in the rare silence of the Marketplace at night. Why did he not do this more often? Find his clarity at night like this, instead of wallowing in his room or debating the question of waking Dedue from his slumber?

When his feet turned him into the entrance hall, he froze.

Felix.

He sat on the lowest stair, his back hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees, and his fingers laced together, pressed against his forehead. Dimitri thought of turning away, but once his boot met the tiled floor, the sound of it echoed in the hall and Felix’s head flinched up.

Dimitri held his breath, dreading that face filled with fear, but he dared to exhale when those hazel eyes seemed to be widened with surprise rather than fear.

“Boar?”

Trying to dispense his own tension, Dimitri chanced a laughed, turning away from Felix and awkwardly setting his hand at his neck. “Felix, what are you doing here? At this hour?”

Felix groaned, but stayed seated. “I…got caught up with the blacksmith,” he said, his own face turned away from Dimitri. “She was working on repairing one of my blades and I…I got distracted by some of her work. Wanted to test some steel out.”

Dimitri smiled, the thought warming a spot in his chest.

“What about you?”

Dimitri swallowed hard and walked closer to Felix, eager to close the distance. “Needed some air. Sleep has been…hard to come by lately.”

“Yeah…”

He stepped closer still, carefully minding Felix’s body language as he inched towards him until he was right over him, just within reach. He wanted nothing more than to bury his face in Felix’s hair, to drink in his scent, hold him close…

But the image of Felix’s terrified face flashed in Dimitri’s mind and he stumbled back, clutching both hands against his temples.

“Dimitri?”

His name…his name sounded so sweet on his tongue, so intoxicating. Dimitri tried to steady himself but fell to his knees, right at Felix’s feet. Without thinking, he gripped onto Felix’s leg, trying to fight off the shaking of his hands, digging his fingers into fabric.

“Oi, Dimitri!” Felix yanked at the collar of his shirt, sounding much more annoyed than concerned now. Dimitri smiled, thankful for any emotion other than abject terror and looked up at Felix, trying to imprint the image of his tightly knit brow, his lip curled up at the corner. He reached up and gripped Felix’s waist, settling his cheek against his thigh. A light blush started at Felix’s nose and spread to his cheeks and Dimitri laughed, his fingers itching to slip under his clothes, to touch his skin.

“I’m sorry, Felix,” he said, closing his eyes, breathing in deep against the twitching of Felix’s leg muscles. “It’s been quite the difficult night for me. Do you mind, if I stay here? Just for a moment?”

Felix gave a grumble, but let his fingers brush through Dimitri’s hair, a soft massage to sooth his mind. “Yeah, whatever.”

“Thank you.” Dimitri voice was barely above a whisper, but he settled more comfortably in Felix’s lap, his heart finally at a slow, even pace. He wrapped his arms around him, loosely. He wouldn’t dare to grip him like he did before, never again. He promised himself that much. But one of his fingers slid over an exposed bit of skin, and the heat within him flared up. He swallowed hard and gave in, pushing up Felix’s shirt and vest, running his fingers up his spine.

He counted up each vertebra until enough of his stomach was exposed. The heat inside his chest had now blossomed to his face and he leaned in, pressing his lips beside Felix’s navel, letting his nose glide along the soft, cool skin on his stomach.

Felix shuddered, his fingers flexing erratically in Dimitri’s hair. He was humming out little whines, but Dimitri kept his eyes shut, gently placing kisses on Felix’s stomach, occasionally letting his tongue slip out to glide along the hair beneath his belly button. He bit his lip and looked up, Felix’s faced flushed completely red, eyes shut tight, shoulders hunched forward.

Dimitri’s expression fell, and he tugged Felix’s shirt back down, wrapping his arms around his waist just a little tighter this time, pressing his face against his wrinkled vest.

“I’m sorry, Felix, I just…”

“It’s fine,” Felix choked, out, his hand still on Dimitri’s head. “I mean, it’s whatever, I…”

Dimitri smiled and closed his eyes once more.

“Thank you.”

A few more moments with him. Like this. And maybe the nightmares would take a break for a night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went a little lighter on the smut this time to just focus on Dimitri's feelings. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar) if you'd like!!


	9. Ethereal Moon - Goddess Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course it's the Goddess Tower this month. I couldn't resist...

Felix was never one for celebratory nonsense. Throwing a ball to mark the anniversary of a building was a frivolous event to him. He was expected to show up, all dressed up, and stand on the sidelines as idiots danced, buzzed on sparkling wine and hormones.

At the other end of the Reception Hall stooda line of girls, their wide eyes glued to Dimitri, waiting to be the prince’s next dance partner, and Felix couldn’t contain the curl of his upper lip. Did they even know him, outside of his title? Did they know of the beast, churning within, waiting for the right moment to strike? If only they had seen him the night of the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, if only they had seen him in Remire Village; would they care about dancing with a prince if they knew what he was hiding inside of him?

Dimitri finished dancing with his current partner, giving her a bow and placing an immaculate kiss on her hand before sending her off and taking the hand of the next giddy girl in line. Felix scoffed and leaned against the wall. The girl’s eyes lit up as Dimitri glided her towards the dance floor, her hands shaking hard enough that Felix could see from halfway across the Hall.

Was she even aware how tight those hands could wrap around her neck, cutting out her breath, her very life? Felix’s fingers hovered over the skin on his neck, the wounds still feeling fresh after two moons, even if the marks had long since faded.

Dimitri twirled the young woman around and she giggled, her eyes going right back to Dimitri’s, and Felix could see her getting lost in his eyes. Beautiful blue as they were, was she prepared to see those pools blackened as the beast curdled to the surface?

He knew these girls only wanted one thing from Dimitri; a crown upon their empty, little heads. They only wanted the status that being with him would bring. They didn’t care about the person he was, besides his pretty face and charming exterior. They would gloss over his past and his history for a high title and a pretty dress.

Felix rolled his eyes and walked over to a table, covered in platters of small bites and flutes of bubbling liquid. The smell of it was sweet enough to turn up his nose; he grabbed a skewer of meat, but he knew the small pieces would do little to settle his stomach.

“She’s so lucky to be dancing with him!!”

“He helped me with my books the other day. Such a Prince Charming.”

He turned his head towards a pair of girls at the table nearby, fawning and giggling over Dimitri.

“Prince Charming,” he said, a low laugh beneath his voice. He was just an object for them to admire. Did they truly appreciate the curve of his nose? The way his lips curved up in a small, genuine smile? Would they ever feel the rough callouses of his fingers on their skin, leaving delicate, white scratches in their wake?

He could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. With a groan, he tossed his now empty skewer onto a pile of discarded plates and made for the nearest door. It was stifling in the Hall. The fresh air would hopefully ease his mind and settle the heat rising within him.

Once outside, the noise from within the Reception Hall ebbed into a minor din, the rustling of leaves in the winter wind taking its place. He closed his eyes and breathed in, filling his lungs and holding his breath, almost unwilling to let it escape. His mind was such a fog recently, and it was affecting his fighting. He was getting messier during missions, needing Mercedes to heal him more often than he’d like to admit. All because of Dimitri.

He grimaced and walked through the empty courtyard by the classrooms, trying to organize his thoughts. He wanted to hate Dimitri, to curse his name, to prove to the world that he wasn’t deserving of a title like Prince when all he wanted was blood. He wanted the thoughts of him to stop, starting off fierce and ravenous, slowly turning to hot and sensual.

Felix hated that. Hated that girls were lining up to dance with him, to take advantage of Dimitri for his title. Hated that they were taking up Dimitri’s attention, taking it away from Felix. He hated those thoughts. Because he wanted to hate Dimitri.

But he couldn’t.

As much as he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to fully hate him.

He clenched a fist at his side and wandered throughout the monastery grounds, nearly walking back into the Reception Hall until his feet took him towards the Cathedral. He stayed outside, trying to lose his thoughts among the clouds hovering low over the ramparts. An icy wind blew past him and he shivered, arms immediately wrapping around his chest to keep in the warm.

He turned the corner and stopped at a pair of shadows moving about the stone wall. He groaned when he recognized one of the voices and leaned down to grab a stray rock on the ground, tossing it towards the taller of the two.

“Ah, cut it out, Fe. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Sylvain rubbed hard at his head where the rock landed, and in the time he spent to berate Felix, his partner had run off.

“Not anymore,” Felix said.

“No thanks to you,” Sylvain said, his tone less annoyed, almost teetering on teasing. He walked up to Felix, and gave him a wink. “I can see you’re having a lovely evening. By yourself.”

“Shut up.” Felix turned away, his arms still crossed in front of his chest. “I’d rather that than be the one hooking up with some random girl in the cathedral, of all places. You truly have no shame.”

Sylvain laughed, his body nearly doubling over and his voice echoing off the stone walls. “Are you serious? Like you’ve never done it before.”

Felix was thankful for the dark of the night to hide the flush burning his cheeks. The times he shared with Dimitri in the cathedral, sprawled on the ground between pews, biting his lip to suppress his moans. Had Sylvain seem them? “No. I haven’t.”

“Sure you haven’t.” Walking past him, Sylvain slapped his hand over Felix’s shoulder, shaking him off his axis. “And you didn’t leave the ball because you were jealous of all those girls losing it over His Highness.”

Felix took in a hard breath, but before he could snap out a come back, Sylvain was walking away, one hand waving in the air. A sour pit started to form in his stomach. If Sylvain had seen Felix with Dimitri, then who else could have stumbled upon them? Who else knew?

Eventually, Felix found himself at the base of the Goddess Tower. He stepped in, one of the doors already hanging open from the many fools going up there, making silly romantic promises that would hardly last past graduation. He walked up the stairs, his movements mostly automatic, and stopped when he heard whispering and giggling from above. He couldn’t make out the voices, but the deeper one was unrecognizable, at least to him. He felt a small release inside and started back down, only to knock into someone along the way.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking…” Dimitri’s mouth stopped moving when he noticed Felix, and immediately, his cheeks went pink. “Felix.”

Felix’s throat dried up in that moment. “D-dimitri?”

He smiled, sheepishly, his eyes low, not quite meeting Felix’s. “I see that you’re coming downstairs…”

“I didn’t…!” Felix tried to stop Dimitri from speaking further, knowing full well what he was thinking. “I never made it up there, I don’t even know how I got here in the first place!”

“Well, I would assume you walked.”

“Boar,” Felix groaned between gritted teeth, but the tension in Dimitri’s shoulders had released and his smile grew wider, more relaxed.

“I’m only teasing, Felix,” he said, his voice even a little lighter.

“Then why are _you_ coming up here? Expecting to meet someone?”

And it all faded. Dimitri’s eyes fell down again, and in the flickering candlelight, Felix noticed how much larger the circles under his eyes had become. “Not…really.”

“You’re not sleeping, again, are you?”

Dimitri sighed and rolled his eyes. “You’re starting to sound like Ded-…”

Felix grabbed Dimitri’s face pulling it close, and stared into wide, blue eyes. “You haven’t been able to sleep all year. And you’re shit at hiding it.”

Dimitri didn’t move, just stood there, his eyes becoming a little clouded the longer they stared. “I am,” he said, raising his hands to rest on Felix’s wrists, closing the distance between them.

Felix gave in, pressing his lips hard against Dimitri’s, though the whispers and giggles from the top of the tower ate at the back of his head. From the step above, Felix felt at an advantage, finally standing a bit higher than Dimitri, and tilted his head back, pushing past his lips as his blood surged with a new sense of dominance. Dimitri whimpered out a small moan, but followed Felix’s lead.

There was no way Dimitri was coming up to the Goddess Tower to see Felix, that would be nonsensical, and yet he didn’t continue up the stairs, he didn’t fall back. He stayed, let Felix control him. Felix gasped, parting his lips to bite down on Dimitri’s, his hands falling from his face to his shoulders and down his back. Dimitri pushed his body in, pressing it up against Felix, letting him know how quickly he had become hard.

Felix laughed at that, his own body responding similarly, but his hands kept moving, finding their way into the back of Dimitri’s pants. He gently tapped his fingers down along Dimitri’s ass, completely aroused by how soft he was there. His body moved without him, grinding up against Dimitri as his fingers continued to explored, diving into the space between his cheeks, fingers shaking.

Dimitri gripped at the front of Felix’s uniform, his breath forming small clouds in the chilly air between them, lips wet and red. His eyes were dark pools, but not those of a hungry beast, one who was willing to be tamed. The thought pulsed in Felix’s groin and his fingers moved in, spreading Dimitri’s cheeks apart while one slipped deeper to circle around his tight hole.

“F-felix,” Dimitri gasped out, fingers shaking against fabric.

He pressed in, silencing Dimitri with a kiss, stretching past his entrance and curling his finger inside of him. He had felt Dimitri explore him this way before, heat searing in his chest at the memory, thinking of how it felt to be spread, to be filled. Felix moaned as he continued to push into Dimitri, two fingers, daring to push in a third, drinking down the whimpers spilling from the boar’s mouth.

But the sound of footsteps froze them both and with a choked swallow, Felix met with Sylvain’s eyes, narrow and teasing. He slipped his hands from Dimitri’s pants and pushed him away, turning his head so neither of them could see the color rise in his face.

“S-sylvain!” Dimitri tried to laugh off the encounter, and it was at that point Felix noticed the girl tagged along behind him, one of the girls who had danced with Dimitri earlier that night.

“Quite the hot spot tonight, huh?”

“D-didn’t you already bring a girl here?” Felix tried to keep his voice down, the whispers from above only growing louder.

“Hey now,” Sylvain said with a warning finger waving a Felix, the girl behind him growing more annoyed. “Watch what you say around my guest.”

“Whatever.” Felix blew past the three of them and nearly ran down the spiral stairs of the tower, desperate for the night air once more. But the moment he stepped outside, Dimitri was behind him, tugging at his sleeve. He looked back, and only slightly cursed that he was looking up at Dimitri, now that he had lost the aid of the stairs.

“Um…” Dimitri tried to speak, but the way his lips were pursed together was proof enough to Felix that his words wouldn’t leave him.

Felix tore his arm from Dimitri’s hold, but didn’t move, merely stood out in the cold, staring up at the stars. “I don’t…know,” was all that he could muster. What if no one had been up at the top of the tower? What if he made it there, alone, only to be greeted by Dimitri at the top. Would Dimitri’s words have come out then? What did he have to say? And what about the words Felix kept within, denying their very existence in his mind?

Dimitri wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. “Neither do I.” His voice was soft, barely audible over the wind.

Felix’s chest tightened. But he merely closed his eyes, bit his lip, and fought back the tears as he allowed himself to be held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The time between updates might become a little sporadic now that work is starting up again for me. Got some great inspiration for the next chapter already, though, so let's hope it goes up soon!
> 
> Don't be a stranger, say hi on [Twitter!!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	10. Guardian Moon - Infirmary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some bottom!Mitri in this chapter~  
> Enjoy!

Perhaps Dimitri had been getting a little too reckless on the battlefield as of late. Ever since Jeralt’s death, he felt a fierce desire to fight harder, to protect whatever the Professor had left. He knew loss all too well, and he had to do whatever he felt would set the Professor at ease.

And this desire had swiftly landed him in the infirmary, on a fairly simple mission, too. He simply hadn’t been looking when the arrow lodged itself in his back, an attack he would have easily dodged otherwise. The pain seared through his flesh, but didn’t nearly sting as much as the sound of Felix berating him about it the whole journey back to the monastery.

Too bad he hadn’t seen nor heard from him since then.

The Professor had visited, of course, to give Dimitri the usual scolding one would give to an oblivious student, but they knew the reason behind his behavior, and left with a gentle pat upon his head. Sylvain had come to see him, but he seemed to be more interested in the unoccupied bed in the room over Dimitri’s well being. Dedue had been by several times, and had even offered to stand watch outside the door, but Dimitri made a swift end to that; there was no need for such stringent protection on the second floor. And of course Mercedes, Annette, and Ashe had stopped by. They dropped off a package of baked treats and performed a spirited get well song, written just for Dimitri.

Ingrid had spent the most time with him, sitting by his side, checking in on his care, and making sure he was eating all of his meals. Her concern visible in the lines on her forehead and the growing circles beneath her eyes.

“Has Felix been by to see you yet?”

Dimitri sighed and dropped his head, staring at his hands in his lap. “No, he hasn’t.”

She gave a tired groan, and he could tell by her sound of her voice that it was paired with an eye roll. “Honestly,” she said, but nothing more. She stood up and placed a gentle kiss atop Dimitri’s head. “Please rest, your Highness. And be more careful next time. We’re all on high alert since last moon. We can’t have you…”

“I know, I know, Ingrid,” he said, but even he was taken aback by his own tone. He sighed and looked up with what he hoped didn’t look like a forced smile. “Thank you.”

She smiled back and left Dimitri to the silence of the infirmary.

He stared out the window and was tempted to pull in the drapes, to limit his distractions for a better night’s sleep. But he knew it would do little to stop the thoughts running through his head. He laid back, resting his head against the pillow, and closed his eyes.

Felix’s face swam into view, as it often did. Whether it was a face of terror, annoyance, or pleasure depended on Dimitri’s mood, but that night, it was blank, as if his features were indistinguishable, obscured by a fog or a haze.

He tried to fight it off like his usual visions, willing it to the back of his mind, but it persisted and with it came the feeling of long, slender fingers making their way around his body, snaking down his sides and down to his thighs. He shifted in the bed, careful not to put too much pressure on his healing wound. But his backside ached for the touch. He soon replaced the phantom fingers with his own, gently massaging a cheek and daring to penetrate his own hole.

He had explored Felix that way many times, enjoyed the sounds he would make, but he often wondered what _he_ would sound like, having that done to him. And Felix had already started an exploration, halted too soon but an unwanted visitor.

With a gulp, he tugged at the puckered edge of his hole, prying himself open with one shaking finger. He had watched Felix finger himself as well, his mouth full of Dimitri’s length, and he was surprised at Felix’s dexterity to reach so far back. He started to feel hot, his thoughts and actions making his nightshirt and blanket seem like thick wool instead of light linen.

He slipped his finger in as far as it would go, whimpering as he began to prep a second finger. It was so similar yet so different to how Felix felt, but he wanted to go deeper, wanted to know what would make him cry out, how he could direct Felix to explore him with just the right touch.

“Dimitri?”

His hand stopped, fingers shuddering inside of him.

It was Felix. He slowly stepped into the infirmary, stopping just beside Dimitri’s bed. He rested a hand over the sheets and sighed, bringing his forehead down to rest beside Dimitri.

“You’re such a fool, you know that?”

He was so quiet, as if he wasn’t expecting a response. Did he think Dimitri had already fallen asleep, that he couldn’t hear him?

Dimitri attempted to remove his fingers from his ass, careful of his movement, but he managed to stretch himself a bit too wide on his way out. Gasping out loudly, Felix stood up with a shock, his eyes wide.

“B-boar?”

Dimitri smiled meekly, moving onto his elbows to sit up in the bed, but his wound seared in the moment and he collapsed back on the bed before he could respond.

“Reckless fool,” Felix groaned, reaching out to help him up. “Is it that difficult for you to get some sleep? Professor Manuela should have given you something for that.”

He turned away, heading towards the shelf of medicines and potions across the room, but Dimitri grabbed his wrist, stopping Felix in his tracks.

“She…she did, I was just…”

His nightclothes felt heavy on his skin again, the air in the infirmary becoming hot and stuffy around him. His fingers slipped from Felix’s wrist and he laughed, trying to cover up how foolish he felt. “I wanted to feel…the last time at the Goddess Tower, when w-we…”

Felix seemed to freeze on the spot, his hands balling into fists and the muscles in his back tensing as Dimitri spoke.

With breath of a laugh, Dimitri dropped his head. “It doesn’t matter, does it?”

Seconds later, the bed gave to creak, shifting beside him, and Dimitri looked up. He was face to face with Felix, who had crawled onto the bed, hovering over Dimitri.

“You were…?” His hand reached Dimitri’s, fingers lacing between lightly damp skin, both of them shuddering.

Dimitri squeezed his hand in reply, biting his lip and nodding. He felt so ashamed, as if Felix had forced him to confessing to wetting the bed. He swallowed hard and tried to explain himself, but Felix had moved first, pushing Dimitri’s teeth aside, kissing him deeply, his hand gripped tight on Dimitri’s wrist.

Dimitri grabbed the front of Felix’s vest with his free hand, pulling him close, choking himself on Felix’s tongue.

Felix pulled back, his breath hot and his eyelids fluttering over foggy eyes. “Show me,” he whispered, squeezing at Dimitri’s wrist.

He nodded and brought his hand to his rear, Felix’s grip still tight on his wrist. He shifted his body to the side, resting on his hip, and brought his two fingers back against his hole, tugging at the puckered entrance until it swallowed them both, a gasped cry escaping his lips.

Felix watched intently, his face filling with pink blotches, his eyes unmoving.

Dimitri smiled, trying to hide his own blush as he pushed and curled into himself, slipping down to his knuckle and tracing inside, desperate to find the spot that made him babble like a fool on the last moon.

Felix’s hand slipped off his wrist, and Dimitri felt the air leave his body, desperate for the touch, but cried out when Felix pushed a finger in alongside Dimitri’s. He looked up into his bright copper eyes. No words, just the sound of their breaths filling the room.

Dimitri whined as Felix reached deep to his prostate, pushing and prodding against it, his own fingers twitching inside as his hips rocked along their fingers. He pressed his forehead up against Felix’s, hoping he could read the want in his eyes.

Felix pushed up against Dimitri, his cock already hard beneath the cloth of his pants. “Are you…sure? You…”

“Yes,” Dimitri whimpered out, his throat feeling like it was closing in, that there was only so much more room for air. He wanted to know what Felix would feel like inside of him, how his body would respond.

The slight smirk that appeared on Felix’s lips made Dimitri’s chest ache, immediately relieved when Felix pressed his lips against Dimitri’s, opening up his mouth as he continued to prep Dimitri’s hole. Dimitri slid his arm around Felix, pulling him down awkwardly over him, his one hip still pressed down against the bed.

Felix pushed apart Dimitri’s thighs, grabbing hold of his ankle and resting it on his shoulder as he pulled Dimitri out from his own body and pushed three of his fingers back in.

The rough feel of the fabric sliding over his dripping cock made Dimitri cry out, his body shaking as he started to accept Felix’s fingers more readily. He was growing eager, hungry, as he sucked and bit at Felix’s lips until they were red raw.

Felix pulled back, breathing heavy against Dimitri’s neck before he lifted himself from the bed.

Hot as it was in the infirmary, Dimitri whined at the loss of Felix’s heat on him. He watched as Felix made it to the shelf of medicines, frantically opening bottles, the clacking glass echoing in the room.

“Felix, come back…” His voice did not sound like his own, as if it came from someone else in the room. Small, pathetic, needy, but it wasn’t enough catch Felix’s attention. Dimitri continued to grip at the sheets, his hips grinding into the mattress.

Felix returned with a small vile, it’s top already discarded, as he coated his fingers in the translucent, viscous substance inside.

“What…?”

“It’s…gonna hurt,” he said with a wince, wiggling his fingers as the fluid started to drip down to his wrist. His hand returned to Dimitri’s ass, cold to the touch with the addition of the fluid. But his fingers glided effortlessly into Dimitri’s hole, working him wide and open with more ease. Dimitri felt the flush on his cheeks, guilt suddenly rising in his throat. Perhaps he should have taken more care with Felix before.

Felix’s fingers curled within Dimitri, gently rubbing up against his prostate, his heady moans filling the room.

“Please,” he choked out, his ankle finding its spot back on Felix’s shoulder. “I want to feel you, Felix.”

Felix didn’t respond, just kept his eyes low as red peppered his cheeks. After moments of silence, he worked at undoing his pants, releasing his cock and coating it with the remaining fluid.

Dimitri drank in the sight of Felix’s neck tilting back, his throat tensing as he jerked himself off. Like a reflex, Dimitri used his ankle to drag Felix closer and with a wordless nod, Felix pressed the head of his cock up against Dimitri’s hole before pushing in. He cried out, Dimitri immediately clenching around him.

Dimitri bit his lip, burying his face into the pillow. Felix was inside him, and would soon be filling him, but it felt odd, strange. He kept listening to Felix’s gasps, which only helped to loosen him up, and with a thrust, Felix pushed deeper in and Dimitri’s eyes nearly rolled back.

“F-felix!” He shoved the heel of his palm in his mouth, biting down, his teeth sliding over the growing gloss of spit dripping over his hand.

Felix moaned low, the sound reverberating through his whole body until Dimitri felt the vibrations through Felix’s dick. He threw his hands back, gripping at the sides of his pillow, his legs unable to thrash through Felix’s shuddering hold. Slowly, he slipped out, and looked right into Dimitri’s eyes, his chest rising in hitched breaths.

“Are you…alright?”

Dimitri merely nodded, and a chorus of moans escaped before a single word could spill from his mouth as Felix began a rhythm, thrusting in and out of Dimitri. His hand nearly slipped off of Dimitri’s ankle, holding it steady over his shoulder, but his other stayed steady on Dimitri’s thigh, pushing him down into mattress.

Dimitri’s hold on the pillow turned near catastrophic, as his fingers pierced through the fabric and the down feathers inside started to tickle his skin. A hitched breath left with his whimpers, as with each thrust, Felix reached deeper, hitting Dimitri until he saw stars.

Dimitri was full of him, and in the moments when Felix pulled out, Dimitri felt his heart sink until he was filled once again. Every hit of that spot caused Dimitri to clench and the way Felix cried out his name would forever be etched in his mind.

“Dimi…tri, ahhh!” His rhythm started to grow erratic, Dimitri’s own weeping cock flush between his stomach and the coarse fabric of his nightshift. He pressed deeper into the pillow until feathers nearly exploded out, the wet slap of Felix’s body hitting the back of Dimitri’s thighs louder than their cries.

Felix started to fumble, his hand slipping off Dimitri’s ankle as his body shook. “F-fuck,” he cried out and Dimitri’s body nearly went numb at the splash of wet warmth against his cheeks and throughout him inside. Dimitri clenched at the feeling, Felix riding out his high.

Dimitri whimpered as Felix’s spend trickled between his thighs, slipping under his balls, his cock still untouched. Suddenly, the heat of Felix’s body was off him and he walked to the shelf across the room to grab a rag. He returned, wiping it over Dimitri’s ass and carefully cleaning up between his legs.

“A-ah!” Dimitri cried out at the rag rubbing up against his balls, his cock throbbing with need.

Felix’s eyes widened and he pulled up the front of Dimitri’s night shift, his face growing dark red at the sight of Dimitri’s cock.

“Sh-shit, I thought you…”

“It…it’s fine, I…”

Felix continued to wipe his spend from Dimitri legs before settling behind him, reaching his arms around until Dimitri’s cock was in his hands.

Immediately, Dimitri reached down as well, lacing his fingers between Felix’s. He wanted to look back, to see the look in Felix’s face as he rode out his own pleasure, but he didn’t dare. He closed his eyes and took the lead, guiding Felix’s hands along his length. He was already so worked up from Felix fucking him, it didn’t take long for him to come over both their hands, his back arching along Felix’s chest.

It took several moments for his breathing to even out and eventually, he relaxed into Felix’s hold. He flinched at the rough feel of the cloth at his dick as Felix hastily tried t clean him up.

Again, Dimitri mourned the loss of Felix’s warmth, looking over his shoulder as Felix, out of bed, frantically searched for a way to discard of their evidence.

“Felix,” Dimitri called out, his hand outstretched, shaking in the pale beams of moonlight coming through the window.

“What is it, boar?” His usual bite sounded more anxious, less crude. He turned around and met Dimitri’s eyes, only to move his gaze to his hand. Biting his lip, he turned away. “Just…give me a moment, I need to clean up. We’re in the Infirmary, for Seiros’ sake. Can’t believe we just…”

Dimitri smiled meekly as Felix continued to mumble, returning the bottle of whatever he had used to the shelf and finally finding the basket of discarded wrappings to drop the rag. He returned to Dimitri’s side, stripping off his pants and his vest, and settling in behind him.

The way his face fit against the curve of Dimitri’s neck caused a shiver to run down Dimitri’s spine, which only made Felix hold him tighter. only after bringing the sheet up and over them.

Dimitri swallowed hard, Felix’s hand managing to find his and squeezing tight, only to relax in his hold just moments later.

“Felix?”

He grunted in response, but moved in closer, if that were at all possible. “Shouldn’t you be falling asleep by now? What is it?”

Dimitri laughed, which suddenly ended up becoming a yawn; when was the last time he yawned liked that? His eyelids started to grow heavy, and the warmth of Felix lulled his body into a comfortable numbness.

“About…last moon,” he started, his words slurring as sleep slowly started to take him. “At the Goddess Tower, I…”

Felix’s shivering hand squeezed his once more before he could speak another word, sleep overcame him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading and your continued support!! Like I said, the time between updates might start to get a little longer, but I'm still thinking of this fic every day (especially the chapters I have in mind for the timeskip).
> 
> Don't be a stranger, say hi on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	11. Pegasus Moon - Tea Garden

Felix never quite liked his birthday. Growing up, it had always been used against him, to set him as the “baby” and tease him in the games he would play with Dimitri, Ingrid, and Sylvain. As if nearly two moons made a difference. But apparently it did, and his birthday would often be celebrated with much fanfare along the lines of, “you’re finally as old as us, Felix!”

And he would always cry. How dare they think age made a difference in his skill or knowledge? True, Sylvain always flaunted his maturity to the three of them, dishing out information about what “older kids” do together, and it did make Felix curious. Dimitri as well. With Sylvain’s knowledge, Dimitri and Felix had dared to share their first kiss together at one of Felix’s birthdays, when he had grown “old enough” to try such a thing. A gentle, immaculate peck on the lips, nothing compared to how their lips met now; hot and steamy, tongues pushing deeper in.

Even Glenn would tease him for being so young, so small, laughing the moment a tear would drop from his eye and mocking his need for a prince to protect him.

Glenn…

The thought of his brother still caused an ache to throb in his chest, but over the years, it had grown numb. He had accepted the fact that Glenn would no longer have the chance to celebrate his little brother’s birthday again. This would be the fifth one without him…

Regardless of how he felt about his birthday and the painful memories the day brought up, he had still accepted the Professor’s invitation to tea. It was an awkward encounter at first, having them stare at him from across the table in the garden, but eventually, the Professor brought up some interesting topics that eased Felix into an unfamiliar comfort. And, to be fair, the gift he received was something that made the afternoon worth the awkward ambiance.

Long after the Professor had left, Felix sat at the table, marveling at the blade in his hands. With the metal warped after years of warfare, it had been retired to live out the rest of its days to be admired. And Felix treasured every detail of it, wondering of the times where it lead to battlefield victories. He smiled as he held in his hands, briefly letting his guard down for just a moment.

“Oh wow, that sword…!”

He immediately regretted it.

“What are you doing here, boar?” Felix hastily wrapped the sword back into its packaging and shoved it into its box.

“I was just passing by, is all,” he answered, but the uncomfortable shifting of his feet told Felix otherwise. “Were you just having tea?”

“The Professor asked me,” he said, standing up, knocking the underside of the table with his knee and immediately falling back to his seat as the fine dish-ware clattered. The sword dropped from his hands and fell out of the box onto the ground and suddenly, Dimitri was upon him.

“Are you alright?” Those bright eyes, wide with concern, did little to subdue the throbbing in his knee. In fact, they only seemed to cause him more pain and discomfort, the closer they came to him.

“B-back off, will you? I just hit my knee, I’ll be fine.”

Dimitri didn’t look convinced, but he nodded his head and leaned down to collect the sword.

“Be careful with that! Knowing you, you’ll snap it half just touching it.”

Dimitri shook his head and gingerly rewrapped the sword in its cloth, placing it back into the box. “I’m only putting it back,” he said, his head still low. “It’s a beautiful birthday present. How very thoughtful of the Professor.”

Felix grumbled in his throat, wanting to tear the gift from Dimitri’s hands but feeling unable to move a muscle.

Looking up, Dimitri’s eyes only seemed to glow brighter as he smiled, but they did little to hide the dark circles beneath them. “Happy Birthday, Felix.” He presented the rewrapped sword in his hands and Felix immediately snatched it back up, setting it down on the tea-soaked table cloth.

“Thanks for remembering,” he said with a huff, crossing his arms across his chest.

Still on his knees, Dimitri closed in again, his hand ghosting over Felix’s leg. “I could never forget.”

That damn, earnest tone of his; of course he’d say something like that. Felix knew better than to fall for it, but his body begged to differ, especially with the sight of Dimitri, knelt between his legs, firm hands mere inches away from gripping him tight and pulling him into his hold. Felix took in a long breath, hoping to settle the rising tension in his chest.

No matter how many times they had kissed or embraced, it meant nothing. Felix had to keep telling himself that, especially on a day like today. He couldn’t think that Dimitri would give him any special attention, and he shouldn’t want anything like that from a beast in boy’s clothing. But he felt that he was staring far too long at Dimitri without a response, for he leaned up, his gloved hand slipping up to Felix’s knee, and practically settling up against his lap.

“You didn’t think I would forget your birthday, would you?” His voice quavered, as if he were on the verge of tears.

 _There’s nothing to get worked up about. He’s a beast who wants to feed. Nothing more, nothing less._ He had to continue his mental mantra, no matter how many times he felt the twinge in his heart.

“N-no, I…” The rustling from the other side of the hedges made Felix uneasy, as Dimitri continued to climb, hooking his arms under Felix’s legs to gently lift him from the chair. Someone would definitely catch them now, especially since Sylvain had revealed that they weren’t being as discreet as he had thought.

“I do apologize that I have no gift for you,” he said, pulling Felix onto his lap as he commandeered the chair, “but I promise, I never forget this day.”

Felix squirmed in his lap, placing his hands against Dimitri’s shoulders, trying to push him back, but again, his body betrayed him with a soft grind.

“D-do you want a prize or something? For your wonderful memory?” He could no longer think, save for the slight fear that rose up his spine at every sound within the courtyard; someone would definitely see.

Dimitri shook his head, his hand cupping Felix’s cheek. “No. I just want…”

And Felix gave in, before Dimitri could even close the distance. His hands darted to Dimitri’s jaw, tilting his head back and kissing him deep. He wanted to resist the urge, to think that he could last one day without thinking of the boar, without thinking of his touch, but a day without it drove him as mad as the days of indulgence. Being consumed by him and devouring him in return, it felt so good in the moment and he ached in the cold, lonely nights they didn’t spend together. He hated every touch and kiss as much as he craved it. It caused him headaches and turned sparring sessions into pathetic wastes of time. But he needed him, now that he had him; drinking him up, chests heaving together, held tight in his arms.

He broke for air, gasping at whatever would fill his lungs, admiring the red that flared over Dimitri’s cheeks and the misty haze that filled his eyes. A birthday gift he didn’t want, but wouldn’t return for all of Fódlan.

Dimitri hummed a quiet laugh and slipped his gloved hands up the back of Felix’s shirt, slowly flexing his fingers against his flesh, riding up the ridges of his spine. His eyes didn’t move as his fingers worked, locking Felix’s into his unmoving gaze

As Dimitri’s hands moved up to his shoulder blades, and the chill of the air hit the exposed skin at his waist, Felix dragged his fingers through Dimitri’s hair and pulled him towards his neck. He latched on and started to suck purple bruises into Felix’s flesh.

“A-ah,” Felix whined, his throat bobbing under Dimitri’s tongue, holding him closer and tighter, though his fingers were shivering. Meekly, he gave a grind in Dimitri’s lap. He no longer cared about who would see, only that Dimitri wouldn’t stop touching him, holding him. He gasped as Dimitri’s teeth trailed down the bone of his neck.

But Felix’s hands, nearly tangled in Dimitri’s hair, did little to keep him there. Dimitri slipped out from under Felix, placing him back from the chair, and he stood beside him, his head facing away.

“I…must be going,” he said in a rush, walking off without even bothering with another glance.

All the air Felix had sucked in earlier had been punched from him, and he sat there, along and unsatisfied at the tea table.

* * *

Hours later, after dinner with Sylvain and Ingrid and a quick spar with Leonie, Felix retired to his room, the awkwardly large box tucked under his arm. The boar was nowhere to be seen after their tryst at the tea garden, and while he was thankful not to see Dimitri’s face, he wanted to finish what they started.

The thought made his nose curl up with a sneer and he tossed the box to the floor, the sword clattering out of it with all its wrappings. Beside the top of the sword, a small paper lay on the ground, and Felix tilted his head. It wasn’t part of the wrappings, its color so markedly different. He knelt down to pick it up, a folded piece of parchment thicker than the thin wrapping from the box.

“Dimitri,” he thought, remembering how he had picked the sword from the ground earlier. His heart leapt into his throat.

He glided his finger along a thick fold and flipped it open until the parchment was open in his hands, the small hills of the folds casting shadows against the dark writing.

A letter…

_“Felix…”_

It started off, with a simple address, nothing more.

“ _I apologize for not preparing something more appropriate for your birthday, but I’ve felt my mind plagued by a series of questions as of late. One being the nature of our meeting at the Goddess Tower, the night I so desperately wanted to share my thoughts, only to lose them to my own voice. I…_ ”

Felix stopped there, shutting his eyes tight. He struggled to swallow down the lump that had grown in his throat. The Goddess Tower, that damned night of the ball.

Shaking his head, Felix crumbled the letter in his hands and tossed it to the corner of the room, cursing the fact that it just barely missed the flame of a candle on the ledge.

It could wait, for all eternity, the words on that parchment could wait. And if Felix had any say in the matter, they would shrivel into nothingness before he thought of them again.

He fell upon his bed, buried his face in his pillow, and screamed.

It did nothing to stop the racing of his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Things are getting a little more dramatic, it seems~
> 
> Say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar) if you'd like! :]


	12. Lone Moon - Fishing Pond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If the chapter title is any indication (Lone Moon), things will start getting a little dark for a bit.

He needed air and a quiet place to allow the voices be heard. The Reception Hall was filled with soldiers and mages, gathering weapons and poring over spell-books to prepare for the upcoming battle. The chattering and heavy metal clinking on the tile floor was starting to grate against his ears, making it impossible to hear the pleas of the dead.

Dimitri _needed_ to hear them, especially tonight. He needed them to lead him, guide him on the battlefield. The Imperial forces would be at the monastery by the following day, and he needed to heed their words of the voices more than ever.

He needed them so he could kill Edelgard.

He groaned, and turned to leave the Reception Hall, eventually stepping out into the courtyard, filled with just as many soldiers, alongside students who had barely even participated in a practice battle. This would be their first true war, fighting along the frontlines or healing from a protected fortress. They were nervous, pathetic messes, trying to gather their strength and courage.

He scoffed; how would they help him in his quest? They would only needlessly risk their lives, and he couldn’t have that. Not another soul would be lost to the Empire. He would take the charge, his lance aimed at her chest, ready to pierce through her heart. The thought made him laugh, low in his throat; it excited him more than anything.

The courtyard would not do, however, as the nervous voices of the students filled his ears. No, not here.

He kept walking, Glenn’s voice calling to him, muffled among the dying sounds of the courtyard behind him. He continued until he entered the dining hall, pushing open the door to spot small gatherings of soldiers and students, readying provisions and taking stock of what was available in the monastery kitchens. But the high, vaulted ceiling made their voices echo, and he couldn’t fully concentrate on Glenn. He needed to hear him. What did he have to say that made him cry out so desperately, nearly shrieking his name?

“Dimitri!”

“Soon,” he called back, stepping out into the night once more, finally alone. He stopped at the half wall at the top of the stairs, and glanced out towards the fishing pond in front of him. “I’m listening, Glenn,” he spoke slowly, closing his eyes. “Tell my what you need. Tell me what will bring you peace.”

Even from such a distance, he could hear the water lapping up lightly against the dock. But it was soft and allowed him to finally hear Glenn’s voice.

“Dimitri!”

It was so loud, it pierced Dimitri’s ear, making him shudder at the sound. It was so strong, so desperate, it gathered enough power to throw his body back, pushing him away from the wall.

He opened his eyes, and the vision of Glenn, blood streaking down from his eyes, mouth unnaturally unhinged, swirled out of view, until he was face to face with Felix. His copper eyes were wide, desperately enraged, his hands planted firmly on Dimitri’s shoulders.

“What’s wrong with you, boar? Did you even hear me? Do I need to chase you throughout the monastery?!” He was shaking Dimitri, inching close to his face.

But Glenn’s voice still echoed in the back of Dimitri’s head, only it was much softer, fading beyond Felix’s continued cries.

“Dimitri! Are you listening to me?”

This wouldn’t do; he reached for Felix’s hands, gripping at his wrists to pull him away. He couldn’t hear Glenn like this, or Father, or his step-mother; Felix was being as loud and intrusive as the soldiers from before, if not, even more so. He needed to be alone, why couldn’t Felix understand that?

“D-dimitri, don’t you dare!” Felix only pushed into him harder. “You need to…”

He continued to pull at Felix’s wrist, knowing he could overpower him with just enough force. But then Felix came in hard for a kiss, nearly sucking all the air from Dimitri’s lungs.

Dimitri’s eyes widened, and in that moment that, he couldn’t hear the voices at all; he merely focused on the feel of Felix’s lips, the soft warmth of his tongue, the cool drip of saliva careening down his chin. His hands moved to cup the back of Felix’s head, to tilt it back, to kiss him deeper.

Yes, that was right. The taste of Felix was familiar to him; this was something they did often throughout the monastery, in hallways and classrooms. He hummed through the kiss, letting his tongue slip in deeper. It felt warm and safe and he closed his eyes to savor it all.

Felix choked a sob and pulled back, staring up at Dimitri with tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “That’s right, boar,” he said with a sniffle, trying to blink the tears away. “Come back to me.”

He lifted his hand and brushed Dimitri’s cheek softly.

But there were still tears coming from his eyes. Dimitri moved his hands from Felix’s neck to brush one away. Why was he crying? He hadn’t done so in years.

At Dimitri’s touch, Felix shuddered, both of his hands returning to firmly grip Dimitri’s shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Why were you crying, Felix?” He tilted his head, studying the wet spots at the corners of Felix’s eyes, and in the stillness of the moment, the voices returned, emerging from the muddy waters of his mind, growing louder as each second dragged on.

Felix gave an annoyed whine, his hands now shaking at Dimitri’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about that, just listen to me!”

It was her. It was Edelgard, it just had to be. This whole war that she was started, it was tearing Felix apart. Of course. Why wouldn’t it?

Dimitri’s hands gripped on Felix’s face, strong and fierce, pushing into the soft flesh of his cheeks, one more tear dropping from his eye to sink through the fabric of Dimitri’s glove. He held Felix’s face close to his, noses nearly touching. He watched as those hazel eyes widened and felt Felix’s jaw tremble in his tight hold.

“I won’t let her do this do you,” he growled.

“B-boar, let go of me!!” His voice was high and desperate as he reached for Dimitri’s wrists, trying to pull them away.

Glenn’s cries grew louder, now; she had managed to kill him, but this time, Dimitri wouldn’t let her come near Felix. “I’ll kill her, Felix. With these hands I will…”

“Get off!”

Felix pushed him away and stumbled back, nearly falling to the ground. He caught himself on the half wall, clutching at his chest as it heaved up and down.

“Are you even listening to yourself?” He was screaming, but Glenn’s voice was still louder. “We’re going to war and you’re babbling like a beast!”

Dimitri took a step towards Felix. How could he not understand? “Felix, I will have her head…”

“I won’t have you near me on the battlefield if you’re going to act like this, so snap out of it already!”

What was he saying? What did it even mean? Dimitri had one purpose: to see that Edelgard’s head be severed from the rest of her body, by his very own hands. Didn’t Felix understand that? Didn’t he understand that Dimitri was doing this for him? For Glenn?

“I will avenge them…”

“They don’t want vengeance, they can’t want anything anymore! They’re dead!!”

“Your Highness?”

Dedue’s voice had silenced Felix as came up the staircase from behind him, walking past him towards Dimitri. He gave a short bow before stepping up to him, his hands landing where Felix’s were moments before, atop Dimitri’s shoulders. “It’s late. You must get some rest before tomorrow.”

Yes, his room. What an excellent idea! No outside sounds would bother him there. He would be able to hear Glenn’s pleas clearer. He nodded and walked past Felix, barely looking down at him, as Dedue followed him towards the dorms.

“You keep your Boar Prince away from me tomorrow, you got that?!” He continued to scream after them, but as Dimitri stepped off the stairwell onto the stone landing, he thought he heard a choked sob echo against the walls.

No, that was Glenn.

It had to be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I've already started working on the next one so I hope to have it up by the end of the week!
> 
> I'm on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)  
> (of course you know this, I put this link at the end of every chapter now, haha)


	13. Guardian Moon 1185 - Cathedral

For five years, Felix lived his days knowing Dimitri was dead. Knowing he was gone. And truthfully, in his heart, he knew it had been longer than that. No matter how tender his touch or how sweet his kiss had been during their days at the Officer’s Academy, he knew the whole time he was lying with a corpse. The shell of his former friend.

And now the shell was gone…

He didn’t cry.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

He had screamed the day of the execution, fell to the floor at the news, cradled his head in his hands as he curled into a ball, his body nearly convulsing as he tried to swallow down his sobs. Every night, he could hear the chink of the axe hitting the block, he heard the squelching of the blood erupting from the neck of the executed. No body was presented, but the corpse haunted him. The way it did the night of the Battle at Gronder. The way it did the night before the Battle at Garreg Mach. Bright blue eyes, electric with hate, burning with revenge.

It took a few months for Felix to grow numb to the nightmares and about a year until they stopped. At least, when they stopped happening every night.

His old man was convinced the boar was still alive, somewhere. No body meant there was no proof he was dead, and thus he could live in his happy denial all he desired. Felix wanted none of that. The dead were dead, and the boar had long been dead to him.

But some nights, he could still feel lips brush against his neck, fingers caress down his chest, and his dick throbbed with need with only his hand to soothe it. He had to constantly remind himself that what they did that year had meant nothing; as he had said, it was just a way to pass the time. So why bother holding onto the memories of someone like that? Someone who only wanted to satiate his own lust? Someone who rode wildly to his own death?

When he woke in the mornings after those nights and his pillow was salty wet, he denied that it was due to tears. Why would he cry for a corpse? For a beast like that? His raw throat had nothing to do with choking out sobs, either.

Every day, for five years, he told himself, “The boar is dead.”

And then the corpse had risen. Head intact. Missing only an eye.

Growling and grumbling, a hulking beast that commanded the whole of the cathedral at Garreg Mach with his miserable presence. Barely leaving from his place among the rubble, save to attend war council meetings so he could bring discussions and battle plans to a halt as he claimed to not care about anything but the death of the Emperor.

The mere existence of the miserable boar irked Felix.

“Come on, Fe,” Sylvain would say. “You’ve got better things to do than complain about him.”

But he couldn’t leave the boar to his own devices. He was a danger, and the feeling of his fingers still haunted Felix’s throat. Strong and tight, they could cut anyone’s life out.

It had been a few weeks since the corpse returned, and Felix had spent a good part of his day glaring at him from the opposite side of the cathedral. The boar stood in his usual spot, his cloak hanging off his shoulders, ragged and torn, flapping at his feet to the breeze that snaked in through the open hole in the roof.

He had lost track of time, surprised to see that the sun had long since set while a monk worked at snuffing candles out along the sides of the massive room. He waited until she left, though she gave both him and the boar one furtive glance before running out.

The wind gave a howling cry through the torn ceiling above and the flag-like cape waved at the boar’s ankles once more.

Felix took in a heavy breath and stepped closer to him, making sure his footsteps were loud enough to be heard through the cathedral.

“You,” he called as he drew closer, his voice shaking the very pillars in the already weakened building.

The boar didn’t flinch, didn’t even seem to register that Felix was in the room with him. He merely mumbled and fidgeted, an act that looked violent given his increased height over the past few years. As Felix came within a foot of him, he heard the one name that sent his blood to boiling. “Glenn,” the boar whimpered, his voice low and rumbling.

“No,” Felix growled, his nostrils flaring. “You don’t get to say his name.”

From behind the beast, Felix grabbed at his shoulder and pulled him around so he could face the broken prince.

Dimitri stumbled as he turned, and Felix grabbed him by the face. His remaining eye was glossed over, a foggy haze over the blue that still shone bright on the battlefield. Felix wasn’t sure if the beast could even see him.

“Boar,” he yelled, nearly spitting into his face. “Did you hear me? Don’t you dare speak his name again!”

“Go away,” Dimitri’s voice growled low, the resulting vibrations nearly knocking Felix off his feet.

“Are you listening to me?!” Felix was screaming now, his voice scaring a few birds up in the rafters, their wings fluttering them up and out the hole in the ceiling. “What good are you like this?! Do you think Glenn would want this? Want to see that his sacrifice was worth shit? Is that what my brother means to you? Answer me, boar!”

From the corner of his eye, Felix saw a flash of silver and the billowing of the blue cape; Dimitri had pulled out a dagger.

Felix thanked his quick instincts as he grabbed for the boar’s wrist, holding it back with all his strength. He gritted his teeth and his whole body shook with the task of holding back the beast. “What, you’re gonna stab me now? Don’t like what I’m saying?!”

“Leave.” Dimitri’s voice rumbled even lower, making Felix’s heart miss a beat, but he had to keep him steady. The wild beast could not be tamed, he had to be forced.

“No,” Felix hissed back. “Not if you intend to harm one of your own men.”

The boar was strong, stronger than he was five years ago, and the tip of the blade was inching closer to Felix’s thigh. But he had an idea; he kept pushing against the boar’s arm, lifted up on his toes, and kissed him.

His lips were dry, cracked and shriveled, but moments after their lips touched, it became easier to hold back the dagger. As his tongue parted Dimitri’s lips, taking in the full taste of his vile breath, he felt his arm relax in Felix’s hold, eventually falling to his side. He began to kiss Felix back, a soft grunt rumbling in his chest. His other hand came forward, gripping loosely at Felix’s arm, and for a moment, Felix felt it was working.

It barely worked the last time he did this, the last time he tried to tame the boar with his tongue; he thought he had calmed him, but his nonsense had managed to resurface, and Felix knew he had lost him.

“Felix,” Dimitri whispered against his lips, barely even audible. He tugged at Felix’s arm, pulling him close, and the dagger slipped underneath his cloak.

The gasped tones on his name awakened something in Felix he had been denying and ignoring for five years. Somehow, the boar’s breath turned sweet on his tongue, and Felix pulled him in deeper, no longer thinking, just wanting to feel.

The sound of metal hitting marble pierced his ears, but he had no time to react; Dimitri had engulfed him in his arms, pulling him up against his hard, imposing armor, his arms nearly crushing Felix against him as they wrapped around his waist.

Dimitri began to bite and pull at Felix’s lips, rough and harsh, just shy of breaking skin; Felix hadn’t tamed the beast, he had awakened it.

Felix nearly fell limp in his hold, and as Dimitri’s mouth slipped low, gnawing along his jaw and down to his neck, Felix’s feet left the ground. He whimpered as large, claw-like gauntlets pulled back at his collar, biting and sucking deep, leaving bruises in their wake.

He managed to wiggle one arm free, erratically grasping at Dimitri’s hair, pulling it off his face to get a better look at that black patch that hid part of him away.

Dimitri continued to bite lower, his hand pressed firm on the small of Felix’s back while the other started to tear down at the fabric of his coat. He licked up along Felix’s nipple and Felix cried out, his fingers entangled in the band of the eye patch.

He felt it flutter between his fingers and when he looked down, he spotted the wretched scar it hid for the first time. A shiver ran down Felix’s spine, and he couldn’t tell if it was from Dimitri’s tongue circling his nipple or the horror of the sight before him; whatever had happened to him had left a mangled, disfigured hole, covered loosely by reddish skin, scar tissue lining the edges of the crater-like image before him. He couldn’t make sense of what was left, and his shaking fingers drew closer to it as a sour pit filled his stomach.

Carefully, he touched Dimitri’s brow, where small white lines reached to his forehead, but Dimitri nearly growled and bit down hard on Felix’s nipple. Felix cried out and the other eye was upon him, brilliant blue with black taking over.

“Don’t,” he said, grabbing Felix’s wrist to stop from further exploration and suffocating him with his mouth before Felix could even protest.

He nearly choked on Dimitri’s tongue as it intruded, pushing forward as his teeth bit Felix’s lips raw. Felix couldn’t breath, couldn’t think, save for the mangled abyss that sat on Dimitri’s face.

Eventually, Dimitri’s hold slackened, and Felix fell to the ground, hard on his ass, his chest wet and exposed to the cool winter air.

The beast had his fill, apparently, turning back to the rubble to continue his muttering.

Felix stared at the dagger, just inches from him on the floor, but his heart raced at the thought of how the boar would respond; best not enrage the beast again. At least, not that night.

With a groan, he struggled to his feet and turned to leave, clutching at his torn clothes to protect his body from the cold.

This would not be the night to break the beast.

If he tried any further, he would be broken first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my whole thing was not to repeat a location until after the timeskip. But the cathedral might be the only repeated location in the whole fic, haha.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around! I'm really excited about the next one~
> 
> As always, I'm on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	14. Pegasus Moon - Audience Chamber

Felix was on his stomach, his back exposed with fresh scratches and teeth marks that rose above his battle-earned scars. His teal cloak was bunched up at his neck, along with his shirts beneath it, while he quivered and writhed on the audience chamber floor. His trousers sat low at his hips, resting comfortably along the curve of his ass.

Dimitri hovered over him, teeth resting at the base of his neck, on the bump of bone at the top of his spine. He growled against Felix’s flesh and dared to bite down once more, all to hear Felix cry out.

He never wished for the dead to stop speaking - their voices were more valuable than ever before - but they gave him the privacy he needed in times such as these. Or perhaps they were still speaking, barely audible over the sounds he and Felix would make. He smiled wildly against pale skin, a huff of his breath escaping and causing Felix to shiver against the marble.

“A-ah,” he whined, wriggling his hands against Dimitri’s hold on his wrists.

The sound of it pulsed within Dimitri and he moaned low and he dragged his teeth over the slight bump of bone, falling up and over it. His teeth dug in at the flesh on his back, square between his shoulder blades, and Felix cried out again, his voice echoing around them, only aiding in keeping Dimitri hard.

“More,” he said, licking over his teeth marks as he slipped even lower down Felix’s back. “I want to hear more of you.”

“B-boar,” Felix whimpered, daring to look back, his cheek pushed into the marble.

He laughed at the word, his voice low and dangerous; he hadn’t truly laughed in years, not a drop of mirth left in his bones, but the familiar insult felt fitting for his current state. He embraced it now, and with a tighter grip on Felix’s wrists, he slowly licked up his spine, revisiting the bite marks he had previously left.

Felix shuddered, back arching into it. He had wanted this, making it abundantly clear when after their recent war council meeting (if it could even be called that), he pulled Dimitri into the Audience Chamber, home to nothing more than dust. He gripped at his coat, screaming at him, hurling his usual insults at Dimitri before he leaned up to kiss him.

The voices hushed when their lips were pressed together, allowing Dimitri to remember what it was like to indulge. He kissed Felix back, hungry for what he hadn’t realized he missed, biting at Felix’s lips, tongues gliding against one another. It was only a few moments before Felix was on the floor, ready to be feasted upon.

“F-fuck, boar, a-ah…!”

Felix’s hips hitched above the ground, his ass bumping up against the harsh, dark metal of Dimitri’s armor.

He smirked, knowing full well what was happening between Felix’s legs. But instead of tending to him, Dimitri kept his hands wrapped tight around his wrists and moved his lips slightly lower, biting, licking, pulling at skin.

Dimitri moved inch by inch, until his mouth was hovering over the small of Felix’s back, breathing heavy against quivering skin. He released his hold on Felix’s wrists, moving to grip his hips.

Felix gasped as Dimitri dug armored fingers into his flesh, and his face still flat on the floor despite nothing no longer restraining his top half.

Dimitri smiled against his ass, gliding his nose over soft, plump skin that curved up. He closed his eye and moaned against it, soaking up the texture and small hairs that perked up at his touch. Licking his lips, he tugged down on Felix’s pants and belts until his whole ass was exposed.

Felix lifted his head and swallowed hard. “Boar? What are you…?”

Before he could speak another word, Dimitri spread his cheeks open, parting the way to his tight, puckered hole. A hunger roiled low in his gut and he smirked, lowering his face until his lips were pressed against it.

“Ah..ah! Fuck!” Felix banged upon the floor with tightly wound fists, his head nearly slamming into the marble beneath him. Every pound to the ground pulsed within Dimitri, his dick pressing hard against the inside of his armor. But it could wait; he had to feed first.

He swiped his tongue over Felix’s hole, feeling it quiver, and he pressed harder into soft cheeks as Felix keened and whined. He closed his eyes and moaned against skin, licking up the warmth fluttering from Felix, dragging his tongue along the rim before piercing in.

“Nnn, aah!!!”

He gave a low laugh at the breathy sounds coming from Felix, and it felt odd to have them overpower the voices within. He didn’t mind, for the moment, and stuck his tongue in further, licking up the sides within Felix. Dimitri closed his eye, jamming his tongue in and out, and sucked and bit at the sides of Felix’s cheeks. He had a good grip on his ass, giving Felix only so much freedom to squirm about the floor.

A dribble of spit trailed down Dimitri’s chin, dripping onto Felix’s hole. Dimitri continue to lick and bite, and in moments, Felix cried out, high and desperate.

“D-dimitri!”

Ah, yes, now he remembered; his name had such a sweet ring to it when it came from Felix’s mouth. It had been so long since he heard it, and even though it was rare, it always came alongside a cry in ecstasy.

He lifted his head up and stared at his handiwork, Felix’s hole fluttering open, wet from his mouth. And below, the audience chamber floor was covered in his spend. Dimitri laughed, a low rumble in his chest and flipped Felix over, staring at his now limp cock and stomach, covered in pearly white mess.

“Already?”

Felix could hardly respond before Dimitri leaned over to lick him clean, and he simply continued to whine out instead. Every cry reverberated through Dimitri and once he felt his tongue had his fill, he undid the cod piece of his armor, letting it clatter to the floor beside him.

Felix’s eyes widened and he propped himself on his elbows, staring straight at Dimitri’s cock.

Dimitri adjusted Felix’s legs before him, his pants still down to just his thighs, and pushed them down until his knees practically met his collarbone. Dimitri lined himself up with Felix’s wet hole, rolling the head of his cock against it, until he pushed in hard.

Felix fell back, crying out and fighting against Dimitri’s hold on his legs. He writhed on the floor and Dimitri when thrusted in, Felix’s back arched up off the marble floor.

A moan fell from Dimitri’s mouth, hilting himself inside Felix. The clench around his dick ceased any sound or thought in his head; he almost forgot this feeling, and was lost in it for the moment. He closed his eyes and focused on the flutter on Felix around him; for the first time in years, he allowed himself this pleasure, and basked in the internal silence it brought.

“Boar!” Felix yelled, breaking him from his trance. “F-fucking move already!”

He met Felix’s eyes and saw the quiver within them. At his request, Dimitri’ began to thrust.

A gurgled cry escaped Felix, his hair splayed out around his head in inky black tendrils, spit flying from his lips.

Dimitri’s neck craned back, letting the wet sound of their bodies slapping together fill his ears, his mind; he allowed it to overpower the pleas of the dead. He could spare just the moment, and continued to push deeper and deeper into Felix, his rhythm growing erratic.

A flow of electricity flowed up his spine, branching out through every nerve in his body, from his groin to the base of his neck. Felix felt so good, his cries were so sweet, and soon after, Dimitri clenched his teeth as he rode out his climax inside Felix’s ass, biting back his own moan to hear the other man cry.

He gave a couple more meek thrusts until Felix was filled and sat back, his hands falling from Felix’s ass to the floor. He tilted his head back, the warmth flowing out of him, and stared up at the vaulted ceiling in the room. In due time, the voices returned, calling his cue to resume his work; cut down every Imperial soldier until he could finally kill Edelgard.

Dimitri slipped out of Felix unceremoniously, adjusting himself back into his small clothes and reattaching his codpiece. He barely glanced down at Felix as he stood up and turned towards the door.

“B-boar, what the fuck? Are you listening to me? Boar!!”

He could hear him, barely, but it no longer mattered; the small respite had ended. He pushed open the door and let the screams of his father and Glenn fill his ears once more.

“Do not fret,” he mumbled over Felix’s cries behind him, “I will get her…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was worried about his chapter, about not getting Post-TS feral!mitri across the right way, but upon my rereads & edits...yeah, I think I succeeded, haha.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	15. Lone Moon - Captain's Quarters

Everyone knew.

At least in his mind, every time Felix caught the edge of someone else’s glance in the dining hall, during war councils, after training sessions, he felt as if they knew about what he was doing with the boar.

It’s not as if they were being discreet about it; when they fooled around during their time in the Academy, it was all about making sure no one was around, that no one would get an inkling about their sordid affairs. It was an excuse to blow off some excess hormones, nothing else.

It was different, now. Felix kept telling himself. He had to.

On the off chance that the boar would actually show up to a war council meeting, it was mainly to growl and let everyone know that Edelgard was his quarry. Felix would pull him aside in the hall as he trudged away like a cursed shadow, and lose himself in the heat of a one sided argument, screaming at him to get it together, only to eventually disappear behind a set of doors, his screams turning to desperate, hungry kisses, eager to be devoured by the beast. The boar would indulge him for a moment before moving to strip off Felix’s clothes, leaving him bare against cold, black armor. And Felix didn’t mind; he preferred being the bare one if it meant his clothes would avoid being torn apart by the claws of the boar’s gauntlets.

But it always ended up that way. Felix would yell and his lips would find themselves gravitating towards the boar. He could blame it on some stupid nostalgia lurking in the back of his mind, or he could think of it as a way to tame the boar, even if just momentarily.

Felix’s recent tirade of complaints at the boar had led them into the Captain’s Quarters, though Felix didn’t really pay much mind to what room they used. Just that they had one. It was best to be closed off from everyone else; alone and secluded, he could focus on stopping the ramblings of the dead as he dealt with a beast, a mindless, hungry creature, who fucked Felix into oblivion.

His bare ass sore from their recent tryst, Felix flinched as he sat upon one of the settees in the room, cuts and bruises along his thighs, from the armor rubbing raw into his skin. The beast sat beside him, fully dressed in his armor, save for his worn, flaccid dick sitting between his legs, bare to the world; the one stray piece of armor sat discarded on the floor by his feet.

Dimitri wasn’t asleep, nor could Felix say he was awake; he merely sat there, his lone eye facing forward, glossed over as his lips moved with no sound. Moments earlier, that mouth was twisted in a sick smile, urging Felix to move, to fuck himself on the beast’s unfathomably large dick, and his eye shone bright, scanning every muscle that twitched under Felix’s skin.

Felix shuddered and dropped his head in his hands. Why did he do this? After years of nothing, why was he so compelled to be touched again? And by such a man? If it was just sex he wanted, he could have easily asked Sylvain, he would be more than willing to help Felix in such a way. But it wasn’t that. It was more.

It was Dimitri. I had to be with Dimitri…

Felix scoffed. As if he could even be called that anymore. He barely qualified as a man anymore.

Perhaps it was the knowledge that with his body alone, he could help the beast quell the voices, shut them off for a moment and drag his focus back to him and him alone. Perhaps it was a desire to tame him, as he had attempted so many times before, to reel him in and be his master of sorts. With just a press of his lips upon the boar’s, he could have him under his control. Sort of.

Or perhaps it was the aching in his chest, one that he thought had died out during those five years, the ache that plagued him throughout his stay at the Officer’s Academy. Being back at the monastery only made it worse and no amount of strenuous training helped to tamp it down.

 _No_. Felix groaned at the thought, his hands gripping at his hair, loose and fallen out of its usual bun. There was no ache to soothe, especially not with someone too eager to ravenously fuck him, toss him about like a ragdoll, bite into his skin until it bled. And yet the ache in his chest dulled in those moments, and Felix felt he could breathe freely.

“Fuck,” he spat, gritting his teeth. The boar mumbled something above a whisper and it was enough to get Felix up off the settee. He walked over to the window, letting the moonlight paint his purple-bruised skin, and stared below at the few soldiers that roamed outside on patrol. Would they turn their eyes up to spot him, see him on display, evidence that their soldier prince was nothing more than a beast? And that Felix threw himself in the lion’s den, day after day, night after night, in an attempt to best him? Would it even matter, to be spotted in such a state?

Everyone knew. Even they did.

His lip quivered, daring to set itself in a scowl. He turned, facing the boar’s glazed eye, and let his mouth settle into a bitter grimace.

“Cover yourself,” he spat, walking back over to gather his own clothes, tossed about the room. “Boars have no shame, do they?”

Dimitri’s lips merely continued to move in their wordless mumble, his eye straight ahead, not even bothering to catch Felix in his own hypocrisy.

As Felix leaned down to gather his cloak, strewn by the boar’s feet, that familiar clawed gauntlet wrapped around his wrist. He gasped and tried to fight the sudden shock of pleasure from such a hold, memories of their recent affairs slipping to the front of his mind. He willed himself to shake it off, but the boar only tightened his hold.

“Felix,” he croaked out, his eye still staring, focused on nothing.

Felix successfully shook him off and hurriedly started to dress, slipping on his small clothes and pants. “Don’t even bother, boar, I’m done with you tonight.”

The settee creaked and cried as Dimitri stood up, towering over a half-dressed Felix, his hands roaming to rest at his shoulders.

Felix froze on the spot, watching as the boar’s eye regained some color, meeting with Felix’s own.

“I will have her head,” he said, his voice low, a smile trembling on his lips.

Felix groaned and pushed Dimitri off him, watching as his mass tumbled back onto the settee, a sickening crack of wood echoing in the room.

“I’m not stopping you,” he said, shoving on the layers of his shirts before slipping into his cloak. “Just don’t get in _our_ way of ending this war.” He fastened it closed as he made for the door, opening it up only to come face to face with his father.

“Felix!” His dark blue eyes widened, his neck craning to see around his son. “Have you seen his Highness, I meant to have a word with him.”

“He’s indisposed,” Felix snapped, shutting the door behind him, daring not to mention the detail of Dimitri, standing in the Captain’s Quarters with his cock on display. “May as well try another time, old man.”

He strode past his father and towards the stairwell before he could hear any response.

Everyone knew, Felix kept telling himself, but did his father? The thought turned his stomach, and his brow furrowed, trying to bury that potential conversation away. How such a thing would be an act of duty, one he should be proud to undertake.

He pinched his nose as he came upon the first floor, waiting for the fresh winter air outside to clear his mind. A round of training would help soothe him, he hoped. As long as he had the energy left for it.

His ass was still sore; he wasn’t sure how much longer his legs would last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to wait a bit to post since my birthday is Saturday, but upon rereading, I couldn't resist. I really like this one...
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)  
> @thnkurluckystar


	16. Great Tree Moon - Sauna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sauna, bathhouse, same thing.  
> Trying to keep consistent with Garreg Mach locations.

Warm water trickled down Dimitri’s chest, the steam billowing in from the sauna the next room over turning his thoughts muddy. Speaking over one another, slurring their words - the voices were as loud as they had ever been, just indecipherable, at least in this moment.

Dedue wrung out the washcloth, dirty water dripping out and falling to the drain on the floor below.

Dimitri watched from the comfort of the tub, the heat soothing his sore and weary bones, and Dedue’s strong yet gentle hands were back on him, rinsing the blood that had caked and dried in his hair along the back of his neck.

It was a comfort to have him back; he could only remember fragments of the last time he had seen Dedue, in the chaotic scuffle that was his escape from Fhirdiad. It had cost him his eye and, what he thought at the time, one of his dearest companions.

Dimitri leaned into his touch, the dripping water sending shivers down his spine, despite the heat of the room.

“You must take better care of yourself, your Highness,” Dedue said, his usual even tone more cracked, hardened from years of fighting the war on his own.

Dimitri closed his eye and nodded, if only to give a response to Dedue’s words. “Yes, of course, Dedue.”

“You grow ever closer to your goal. You must be well enough to ensure that you reach it.”

A hum escaped from his lips as he leaned back into Dedue’s gentle washing. It was true; he _was_ getting closer, but there were still far too many distractions. He felt a thrill deep inside that there was finally a battle ahead where he would face Edelgard, head on. At Gronder, he would surely use the opportunity to take her head clean off her shoulders.

“Boar!”

The water stopped spilling into the tub at the sound of Felix’s voice, and Dedue held the wash rag in his hands, staring at the new occupant in the bathhouse.

“Felix,” he said, his even tone revealing how close it was to breaking.

“I need to speak with him. Alone.”

Dedue took a breath and laid the wash rag at the edge of the tub, standing from his position to face Felix head on.

“I am currently tending to His Highness.”

“I don’t care,” Felix nearly spat. “Leave.”

Dimitri turned in his tub, the water splashing up and around him. He could see Felix through the haze hanging in the air.

“No,” Dedue said; his voice was firm, unwavering. “He needs this. A respite away from talks of war. And from you.” A threat lingering on Dedue’s tongue, his voice getting lower.

Felix’s lip quivered, his eyes narrowing in defiance. “Excuse me?”

“You need to leave, for His Highness’ sake.” Dedue turned, reaching out for the wash rag.

“For his sake?! Are you kidding me?”

Dedue ignored Felix, but Dimitri could tell, one more shout from Felix would see that Dedue would defend himself justly. Before his fingers could grasp the wash rag again, Dimitri held Dedue’s wrist.

“Leave us,” he mumbled, the heat and steam warbling his voice.

“You Highness…” Dedue hesitated, but did nothing to pull from Dimitri’s hand.

After one nod, Dedue took a breath, stood up, and left them.

“I intend to finish my duties with him,” he said, slamming the bathhouse door closed behind him.

Dimitri settled back in the tub, trying to regain any sense of thought through the murky heat.

“You,” Felix said, his scowl obvious in his tone. “Get up.”

The water sloshed around Dimitri as he turned his head up, Felix standing over him from the side of the tub. With a heaving breath, he stood up, towering over the other man, staring down at him.

Felix’s eyes flickered over his body, widening as his face turned white. He looked as though one of the specters from Dimitri’s mind had materialized before him, his face full of pure shock and horror.

Dimitri huffed out a laugh through his nose and stepped out of the tub, water dripping from his body and spilling at Felix’s feet. “What do you need of me?”

“You…you’ve gotten so…” Felix swallowed between words, his eyes scanning Dimitri’s body over and over before flitting back to his eye.

“It matters not what has become of my body these past five years,” he said, closing in, Felix tripping back over his feet until he was back against the wall. “I can still destroy her and her pathetic excuse of an army.”

“You’re destroying yourself!” Felix barked back, but he still seemed so small beside Dimitri. “I can’t let you fight in this state! To think you’ve been like this for years, fuck.”

Dimitri tilted his head, letting his damp hair drip over his eyepatch. “What do you care? Aren’t I just a boar to you?”

Felix’s hair splayed out from its bun against the wooden wall, his hands pressed against it. “What…what are you…?”

“It’s your favorite name for me,” Dimitri said, leaning down to run his nose along Felix’s jaw, his bare hands tight on his slim wrists. He smirked, indulging in the feel of Felix’s skin against his bare hands for the first time in years; through all their recent endeavors, Dimitri had not once stripped off his armor. The heat of Felix’s skin was welcome on his own. He gasped against his skin, latching his mouth on Felix’s neck.

“You’re…you’re a beast, you know that?”

Dimitri bit his skin lightly, pulling it back before releasing it and inching up to Felix’s ear. “And you’re any better than that? One who lies with a beast?”

“F-fuck off,” Felix said, pushing a knee to his stomach causing Dimitri to stumble back and nearly slip on the wet floor. “I only do that…to tame you, nothing else.”

Dimitri laughed, but instead of rounding on Felix once more, he spread out his arms, exposing his whole body to Felix. “Is that so? Then come. Tame me, Felix…”

Felix’s nostrils flared. “Fine,” he said, pushing himself off the wall and stomping towards Dimitri. It made him laugh, how intimidating Felix tried to be. Then he was upon Dimitri and he pushed him until the larger of the two fell back against the wooden tub, gripping the edge of it.

Felix knelt before Dimitri’s flaccid cock, his eyes flitting up once, set above bright pink cheeks. It could have been due to the heat in the room; Felix was still fully dressed, in thick furs and leather armor. A trickle of sweat formed at his brow, trailing down his nose and dropping below as his gaze returned to Dimitri’s cock.

Smirking, Dimitri thrust his hips forward, until his cock rubbed against Felix’s nose.

“Stop that,” Felix yelled, gripping at Dimitri’s thighs.

“Tame me,” Dimitri growled, the heat only aiding the sensation now welling within his groin.

Felix swallowed, his throat bobbing before he disappeared beneath Dimitri’s dick, puckering his lips against his balls.

Dimitri gripped the tub tight, taking in a sharp breath. Felix continued to peck and nibble, his teeth gliding over sensitive skin, and Dimitri felt himself rise. If the heat and steam had made his mind muddy, this had only helped in flooding his mind with numbness. He thought of nothing but Felix’s mouth; what it was doing, what it could be doing, and he continued to push his hips forward, thwarted only by Felix pushing back at his thighs.

Felix moved his head back, heavy-lidded eyes scanning over Dimitri’s hard cock. He rubbed his nose at the base and then trailed it up the underside, pushing into the thick, pulsing vein that held Dimitri upright.

“A-ah,” Dimitri moaned, nearly slipping on the wet floor, his head rearing back. His arms shook, trying to keep himself up and steady against the tub.

Felix took hold of Dimitri’s shaft and starting running his fist along it, pulling back foreskin and pursing his lips along the head. Dimitri stared as Felix’s lips engulfed him, stretching around the tip of his length and shivered when he felt the heat of his tongue swipe along the slit of his cock.

“Y-yes,” he moaned out, holding back the desire to thrust deep into Felix’s throat. “Tame me, Felix.”

He could feel a dissatisfied moan vibrate around his cock and he tossed his head back, finally pushing further in, fucking Felix’s mouth.

Felix’s garbled and sputtered, the increased size of Dimitri’s dick an obvious challenge for him; in the past few months, Dimitri had merely fucked Felix’s tight hole. It had been years since he felt Felix’s warm lips wrapped around him, sucking him dry and leaving his whole body limp.

Felix continued to run his lips lower along Dimitri’s length, attempting to take back the control he seemed to so desperately crave. But his lips could only go so far, stretching until little cracks started to form at the corners of them.

Dimitri laughed but allowed Felix to do as he pleased, and watched as he ran his tongue along the underside of his cock, attempting to reach what his lips couldn’t.

A sudden gasp fled from Dimitri’s mouth, Felix’s fingers rounding on his ass and daring to stretch Dimitri’s hole. One hand stayed firm on his cock, keeping it steady while his mouth was busy at work; the other, teasing and daring to penetrate Dimitri.

Dimitri rolled his hips, or at least tried to. Felix held him well, and when a finger pressed within him, he reached down to pull at Felix’s hair, urging him to take him deeper.

“More,” he cried out, another finger pushing in deeper, searching and scanning for the spot within him, untouched for years.

His hips started to over power Felix’s hands as he thrusted deep, reaching the back of Felix’s throat. Felix mumbled and coughed around him, his fingers twitching frantically until one pushed up, reaching Dimitri’s prostate and the beast within him cried out.

“A-ahhn!”

Felix began to bob his head up along Dimitri’s cock, letting it slip out entirely before puckering his lips around the head once more. As his fingers moved inside, a shock surged up Dimitri’s spine, his mind entirely blank save for the pleasure of it all. The voices were entirely drowned out; in the heat, in the moment, they could hardly stand a chance.

With another flick against his prostate, Dimitri could hold it no longer. He doubled over, nearly pulling out Felix’s hair as he came hard, spurts filling Felix’s mouth before spilling over his face.

Felix’s fingers immediately pulled out of Dimitri’s ass, his cough echoing throughout the bathhouse, slowly becoming clearer through the misty haze of Dimitri’s orgasm.

He looked down to see his spend across Felix’s face, a strand of his hair coated in it as it hung in the middle of his face.

Dimitri gave a smirk, admiring the work on Felix’s face. He felt tempted to swirl his fingers through it all, have them cleaned by Felix’s tongue; he did a good job at taming his beast, if only for a moment.

But Felix glanced up, his copper eyes thin slits. He stood up, wiping his face clean on his sweat and steam soaked sleeve. “Clean yourself,” he spat, pushing Dimitri back into the tub.

Dimitri felt suspended in his fall, a frozen moment before the water splashed around him, spilling out of the tub. He stared at the ceiling, the voices still muddles in the steam, but Felix’s voice rang clear in his head over them all.

And then the slamming of the door left him alone with them. Once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Knowing Gronder is right ahead should give you all a good guess about what the next chapter is, so. Buckle up. I'm still working on it. (I hope I can make myself cry, lol)
> 
> I'm on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	17. Harpsting Moon - Graveyard

In the distance, a group of storm clouds dissipated, becoming nothing more than long, thin wisps across the dusky purple sky.

Felix stood beside his father’s newly dug grave, the dirt fresh with a small, flat stone laying upon it to denote that someone indeed had been buried there. It sat beside the legitimate graves at Garreg Mach’s graveyard, but it would only hold Rodrigue’s body for so long; once they won the war and reclaimed both Fhirdiad and the Kingdom would his body be properly interred.

Or so was the hope.

Felix scoffed at the idea, the welling sensation in his chest not ebbing in the slightest. His brother, his father - they both died for the boar, gave their lives to him. Even in death, they upheld the values Felix so deeply abhorred. His family destroyed, and for what? To be remembered for their sacrifice? To be revered as noble, chivalric heroes?

To die in the name of a prince who was more a beast than man?

Felix shut his eyes, holding back the tears that shouldn’t have dared to form. He tilted his head up to the sky, a cool spring breeze fluttering against his eyelids. He remembered the tears he shed when the news of Glenn came back, how they stung against his cheeks, seemingly falling without end. His body never returned from Duscur, only his armor, held in the hands of a broken Dimitri.

He cried not just for his brother that day, but for his friend as well. The blank stare from those once bright, blue eyes chilled him to the bone, haunted him in his nightmares. Even the streak of dirt and blood, smeared across his face, yet to be cleaned off, sent unnerving shivers down his spine.

Everyone had been killed at Duscur that day; Felix had fallen against Dimitri, his voice gone raw from all his crying, and felt received no solace in return. Dimitri merely stood there, the boy now a living corpse.

He had always been that corpse. For nearly ten years - hollow, broken, possessed.

A shuddered breath fell into Felix’s lung as he dropped his head to look down at the grave once more. He saw the impressions left behind from Ingrid’s boots; she had been there all day, weeping for Rodrigue’s sacrifice, bemoaning his lost opportunity at a proper burial.

Felix wouldn’t visit with her around. He refused to listen to her blubbering about knights and duty and all the bullshit his father exhibited in death.

He couldn’t just be a father, could he? He had to give his life for that blasted prince. But Felix held the one thought in that plagued him most, trying to force it to a forgotten corner in his mind: was it better to die for the boar than to lie with him?

“Felix,” a voice croaked from behind.

His presence wafted in like a bad smell, Felix’s lip curling more aggressively than normal as the shadow grew closer, consuming Felix in its darkness.

“Go away.”

“Felix, please, I only want to…”

_“Leave!”_

A pair of crows fluttered out of a tree as Felix’s voice echoed against the stone walls of the monastery. He felt it hang in the air, ringing in his ears; anything to drown out the voice of the boar.

“No,” he said, moments after the remnants of Felix’s cry faded into the air. “I won’t.”

Felix turned on his heal, storming up to the boar, ignoring the look of remorse that hung on his pathetic face.

“Get the fuck away from me, boar. Haven’t you done enough?” Felix’s fingers shook, gripping the furs of the boar’s cloak tight, small shreds of it falling from his fingers.

Dimitri’s look grew more somber, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. “Yes,” he said simply, his hand moving to Felix’s face. “I know, I…”

“Don’t touch me,” Felix spat back, smacking his hand away and letting his own fall from the boar’s cloak. “And don’t you dare cry.”

He turned to look back at the grave, but his eyes were only focused on the darkening sky out beyond, wisps of dark clouds still hovering below a purple sky.

The boar’s shadow continued to loom over him, and he could feel his arms reach out from behind, hands mere inches from him.

“Felix, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness…”

“Then leave!”

Spit flew from Felix’s mouth, shimmering in the remaining light of the setting sun, but he dared not to turn back. If Dimitri wouldn’t budge, neither would he.

Silence hung in the air between them before the boar’s hand was on his wrist, not tight, but firm enough to mark its presence.

Felix closed his eyes; the boar would not leave. No matter how loud he screamed, how incessant his demands were. He bit his lip and tugged at Dimitri’s hold.

“If you won’t leave,” Felix started, slow, his voice barely above a whisper, “then out with it.”

Dimitri’s hand was shaking, his hitched breath fluttering at the back of Felix’s neck. It seemed as though he would shatter to pieces the moment he uttered a word.

Where was the beast he had been these past few months? Years, even? Could the death of Felix’s father really have subdued the beast within, until he was nothing more than a sniveling piglet?

Felix curled his hand into a fist and snatched it away from Dimitri’s hand. “Lost your voice suddenly? If you won’t say anything, then go.”

But Dimitri gripped Felix’s wrist once more, this time pulling it back until Felix spun on his heel, so he was to face to face with the tear stains upon Dimitri’s face. The circles under his eye seemed to have grown darker, his eye completely red and bloodshot. He was an absolutely mess, a stark contrast to the traumatized boy who returned from Duscur. Alone and broken. Nearly dead himself.

Felix’s eye caught movement at the top of the stairs leading to the graveyard, a flutter of bright green hair disappearing behind the pillars and brick; the Professor had been there.

The Professor…

Of course. They had exhumed the boar’s body from the depths of hell and now they had managed to reach in and revive the man buried deeper within. He looked back to Dimitri, or at least away from the stairs. His heart panged once more, not out of grief, but out of jealousy. His sordid attempts at “taming a beast” with his body did nothing to bring him back. But the Professor could just…

 _No_. Felix closed his eyes and pressed his free hand to the front of Dimitri’s armor. “I told you…”

“I won’t leave you,” he croaked out, his voice close to gone. “I know you do not want me here, but…I need to be. So please, let me stay.”

“You’re really not going to leave, are you?” Felix’s voice felt bitter on his tongue, but he didn’t bother to shake off Dimitri’s hand this time, nor did he need to once Dimitri’s hands rested on his shoulders, urging Felix to look at him.

“I…” Dimitri’s voice faltered, his eye darting between both of Felix’s. “I apologize, but…”

The tears started to well again, only helping the blue of his eye shine obnoxiously in the low light of dusk.

“I need you to know, Felix…” He took in a breath, and shut his eye tight, leaning his head forward to rest it on Felix’s shoulders. “Glenn, now your father - I will live with their sacrifice until the day I die, but the thought of losing you?” His body convulsed in a hiccup, his body shaking as it began to engulf Felix. “I can’t bear the thought of it.”

Felix’s eyes flashed open at the realization of Dimitri’s words. He breathed in, but the air never reached his lungs, or at least, they still felt empty.

“Y-you…”

Dimitri was sobbing into his shoulder now, his hands slipping down to grip his arms, desperately trying to keep steady.

“You don’t get to make that decision for me!”

He pushed away from Dimitri, until he nearly stumbled back onto the fresh dirt of his father’s grave. Dimitri was still hunched, but his lone eye peeked out between strands of his sodden hair.

“Glenn, my father…they made that choice.” Felix’s words caught in his throat and he turned back to the sky; he couldn’t face Dimitri, not with these words. “They…chose to die for you. You don’t get to take that back.” They were dead. That was that. And yet he still wished for a goodbye. One last time to fight with Glenn, to glare at his father…to see them alive again. Smiling again. To be a family once more. Whole. Complete.

He didn’t dare to dwell on it. “And if I…if I die for you, that will be my decision as well.”

It felt like a storm, fresh against his back; harsh and rough. Dimitri’s arms wrapped around his waist, holding him close, shaking harder than before, but his hold was formidable.

“I couldn’t bare it,” he sobbed out meekly, lips against the shell of Felix’s ear. “I won’t lose you the same way, Felix.”

“It’s not up to you,” Felix said through gritted teeth.

“As your future King, I command you to live.”

Felix scoffed and turned to face Dimitri’s good eye. “Win the war before you start making commands like that, boar.”

His blue eye glinted in the last rays of the setting sun and he smiled. “Of course, Felix,” he said, moving to his lips, cradling Felix’s chin in his hand. He kissed Felix softly, his lips trembling, as if he were holding back, trying not to consume him like he had in the previous months.

Felix groaned and pulled back, nearly fighting to get out of Dimitri’s arms. “No, get away, I…”

The feeling lingered on Felix’s lips and his heart skipped a beat, but after Gronder, after it all…he couldn’t.

“I know I don’t deserve you, Felix, but…”

“We’re in a graveyard, boar. Are you really that depraved?”

Dimitri shook his head, daring to step back towards Felix. “That’s not it at all. Felix, I…”

Cheeks covered in dried tears, eye red raw - the boar was a pathetic sight to behold. But there was resolve, there, and something else. Something Felix didn’t want to admit. He took in a deep breath and closed the distance, stepping slowly, cautiously. “After all these months, now you’re going soft on me?”

Dimitri’s eye widened, but his hand reached out to cradle Felix’s chin. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.” His voice caught in his throat, but he leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m afraid of even the slightest touch.”

Rolling his eyes, Felix reached up to grab his face. “You’re hopeless,” he said, kissing Dimitri hard, teeth clanking against teeth, tongues hungry and desperate. He knew he could revive some of the beast’s fervor this way, but though Dimitri returned his intensity, the rest of his body seemed frozen, daring not to move.

Felix grunted against Dimitri’s mouth, hooking his leg around Dimitri’s and grabbing his wrists, guiding them low to hold him at the waist.

“Do your worst, boar,” he spat, biting at Dimitri’s lips, egging him on, until Dimitri lifted him, allowing Felix to fully wrap his legs around Dimitri’s waist. He held tight, gripping to the hair at the back of Dimitri’s neck, pulling him deeper into a kiss.

Dimitri shuffled along the graveyard until he pushed Felix’s back up against the stone wall. He latched his mouth onto Felix’s neck and Felix cried out, his head falling back against the stone and his eyes facing the stars starting to twinkle back into the now dark sky.

He breathed hard against Dimitri’s bites, much softer than he would have liked from the boar, but still held him close. His gaze hovered lower until he spotted the fresh dirt of his father’s grave. Felix’s stomach knotted and twisted at the sight of it; was he so focused on his own carnal desires to do such a thing before he father’s grave? When moments ago he wanted nothing more than for Dimitri to disappear?

Dimitri’s teeth grazed along his jaw, biting and nipping until their mouths reunited and Felix was thankful in that Dimitri hadn’t listened to him. His legs slipped from Dimitri’s waist and he nearly stumbled onto the ground, with only the wall behind him keeping him up. He slipped low, but Dimitri merely followed him, hovering over him, his tongue pressing deep into Felix’s mouth.

The sound of metal clanking together caught Felix’s ear and soon Dimitri’s bare hands were at his waist, slipping under his coat and tucking into the top of his trousers, inching them down to expose Felix’s skin to the cool, evening air.

“H-hah!” Felix cried out, Dimitri’s fingers rubbing circles into his hip bone, seemingly paying no mind to his hard dick, throbbing desperately to be touched.

“I know we shouldn’t. Not here, but…” Dimitri whispered into Felix’s ear, his lips shuddering against it.

“Too late, boar,” Felix huffed out, his hands fumbling to undo pieces of Dimitri’s armor, knowing he had to be just as hard as well.

Metal clanged against the other discarded pieces on the ground, Felix now able to run his palm up against Dimitri’s cock, already dripping with need. He coated his palm with pre-cum, welling at the tip, swirling his thumb over the slit before grabbing hold of Dimitri’s dick, gliding his fist up and down the length of it. He could no longer wrap his hand fully around it - it was unthinkable how large Dimitri had gotten in five years - but it didn’t matter; Dimitri keened to Felix’s touch, his mouth and lips fumbling over Felix’s ear, resting his forehead on Felix’s shoulder.

“F-felix, I…”

“Touch me already,” he hissed, squeezing hard at the base; if Dimitri was going to be soft on him, Felix would have to unleash his own beast.

Dimitri gasped, his hands immediately pulling Felix’s trousers down to his knees, gripping Felix’s hips as he pressed their dicks together.

Felix’s hand fumbled, trying to grab his own cock with Dimitri’s, but the boar merely ground into him, slowly returning to his beast like fervor. Felix laughed before Dimitri took both of them in his hands, large and calloused from war, warm on his skin.

He tilted his neck back, scraping his scalp along the brick and stone of the wall.

“F-fuck,” he cried out, a dribble of spit trailing down his chin.

“Felix, are you alright?” Dimitri’s head darted up, his eye wide and worried, his hand frozen around the two of their cocks.

“D-don’t…don’t stop, fool!”

A wave of ease seemed to breeze by, settling the tension in Dimitri’s shoulders and he smiled, kissing Felix, licking the spit from his chin, and jerking both of them off hastily, pressing his hips harder against Felix until he was truly trapped against the wall.

Felix’s feet nearly lifted off the ground, and he was thankful; they were shaking so hard, unable to sustain himself through the pleasure coursing in his groin. He feebly attempted to grind back against Dimitri, but was too easily overpowered. He smirked into Dimitri’s kiss, gripping the armor at his hips tight. He was close; he could feel every pulse from Dimitri’s cock, and each scrape of his rough fingers along the head of his cock urged him to come. He tried to join his hand below, fingers shaking over Dimitri’s.

Dimitri pulled back, lips red and wet and smiled. He lifted his hand, allowing Felix to grip the two of them, before resting his hand on top of it. He leaned towards Felix’s ear and huffed a light laugh against it. “Together,” he whispered.

Felix shuddered, nearly coming at the moment, but he nodded, and held Dimitri’s cock in his hand. Warm and slick with pre-cum, his own mixed with Dimitri’s. Wet fingers laced over his own and began to pump along both their lengths. Dimitri continued to thrust up haphazardly, fucking both their hands while Felix stayed pressed against the wall like a worn-out rag doll.

He lifted up his legs and managed to get them around Dimitri’s waist, meekly bucking his hips up. Dimitri’s mouth found Felix’s neck again and a pulse shot through Felix’s spine, down his neck, straight through his back, and with a few more jerks and tired thrusts, he came undone, spilling over both their hands, crying out into the night sky.

“D-dimitri!!”

Dimitri bit down hard, his hand working hard before he came as well, long hot bursts of spend coating their hands and cocks.

Felix slumped against the wall, barely able to keep himself up as Dimitri also collapsed, a shaky shaking hand pressed to the wall, holding himself up.

Moments passed, long enough for Felix to hear the crickets start to chirp from the high grass in the graveyard. He grunted, his legs slipping off from Dimitri’s waist, but they were weak. The moment they touched down, he could feel himself fall.

Dimitri grabbed him, trying to catch him before he could fall, but he failed, the two of them falling straight to the ground.

Felix groaned; the boar’s weight was heavy enough as it was, but the addition of the armor could nearly crush him.

“Seriously, boar?” Felix groaned, pushing Dimitri off him until he nearly rolled onto the dirt of his father’s grave.

Dimitri gave a soft laugh, his eyes to the sky. “I do hope…no one came by to pay their respects.”

Felix rolled his eyes, grabbing his cape to wipe off the mess between his legs; he would have to wash that later. “Not like it matters. Everyone knows.”

Dimitri nearly bolted up, his eye wide. “I beg your pardon?”

With a groan, Felix removed his coat and tossed it to Dimitri. “Us. Everyone knows what we do. We’re not really…discrete about it.”

Holding the coat in his arms, it took Dimitri a few moments to nod it off, his cheeks just barely pink, or so Felix thought they were; it was difficult to tell in the darkened night.

“R-right, yes. I suppose we…”

“Just clean yourself already.”

Had Dimitri really not considered it? All the public spaces they chose and the sounds they made; their encounters were public knowledge. Sylvain teased Felix about it often, and he could feel it in Dedue’s glares during council meetings. Was the boar that thick-headed? Did he have no periphery as a beast? Or perhaps…

Felix grimaced, trying not to think of anything else Dimitri could have implied as his slipped up his pants. This was physical, nothing else. Not even the heat rising to Felix’s cheeks could convince him otherwise, nor the tight knot forming in his chest.

Dimitri stood, gathering the fallen pieces of his armor and reattaching them, the metal clinking in the night air. He turned and held out his hand, smiling at Felix still on the soft ground.

“What are you smiling about? You were a pathetic mess just a while ago?” He took Dimitri’s hand and practically flew into the air with the force of his pull.

“A-ah…”

Though he had no words, Dimitri removed his cloak, placing it on Felix’s shoulders.

“Since we made a mess of your coat,” he managed to cough out.

“Thanks,” Felix said, tugging it in close, ignoring how it trailed the ground beneath him.

“Let me at least walk you back to your quarters, Felix.”

He sighed and looked up at the boar; a good old fashioned romp seemed to have lifted his spirits. “Fine, whatever,” he said, taking the first few steps out of the graveyard, trying not to think about what he had just done mere yards away from his father’s corpse.

Dimitri didn’t fall behind; he walked beside Felix, holding his soiled coat in his arms. He was quiet the entire walk back, eye scanning the trees, glancing up at the stars, occasionally shooting over to Felix before returning to look out in front of him.

They stopped at the stairs that led to the second story of the dorms. He gave a hesitant look before he leaned down to give Felix a soft kiss, tender and long that Felix felt it should have been morning by the time they parted.

“Good night, Felix,” he said, a sad smile on his lips. “Thank you.” He turned and walked off into the night.

Felix touched his lips, the heavy cloak still around his shoulders. Of all they had done together, the tingle on his lips felt like the most intimate exchange between the two.

He huffed, fighting back the heat in his cheeks, and turned to trudge up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this flows nice? I felt I struggled with the consistency throughout this chapter. Wanted to make sure I hit the right emotions at the right time. I also didn't expect the ending to be that...cute? Lol.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	18. Garland Moon - Star Terrace

King.

It didn’t feel right. Not yet, at least. All he had truly done was take Fhirdiad back from Imperial control. And though his people welcomed him back with raucous cheers and thunderous applause, praise he still didn’t feel he truly deserved, he couldn’t call himself King just yet.

Not without a coronation.

Not with the war still waging on.

He held the letter in his hands, staring at the words scrawled across the parchment, scanning over them until he could truly process their meaning: Claude, calling for aide.

He closed his eye tight, trying to recall the last he had seen Claude, face to face on the battlefield at Gronder. Dimitri could remember little of it; he couldn’t remember much of how his life transpired these past five years, to be frank. Even the recent weeks seemed a blur to him, fighting off the urge to give in to the uncomfortable mire of his mind.

He swallowed hard and opened his eye, watching as his gloved finger gripped the letter.

“Derdriu,” he mouthed.

“That’s what he said.”

Dimitri looked up with a start, unaware he had company, so long after the meeting had ended. “Sylvain! I…”

Sylvain smiled, standing up from his seat and walking towards Dimitri. “The council let out a while ago, but you’ve stayed behind. Figured I’d keep an eye on you.”

“You’ve…been here the whole time?”

Sylvain laughed, a flutter of pink on his cheeks. “Yeah, kinda.”

Dimitri shook his head, resting it against his palm. “I apologize, it seems I’m still getting quite lost in my own thoughts these days.”

“Can’t get over that shit in just a few nights,” Sylvain said, shaking his hand through the fur on Dimitri’s massive cloak. “Just as long as they’re _your_ thoughts now and not, well…”

Dimitri chanced a laugh, knowing full well Sylvain’s intended words. “Yes, I can guarantee they are fully mine. Though, even the voices were mine as well. I can’t forget them entirely.”

Sylvain merely smiled, gesturing towards the letter. “So, are we doing this?”

Setting the parchment down upon the table, Dimitri nodded, a sad smile upon his lips. “I think it best to gain the support of the Alliance. And I’m sure most of the war council would agree on that.”

“Well,” Sylvain said, a pause in his voice. “Not everyone.”

Dimitri’s brow furrowed, trying to find the meaning in Sylvain’s words. “I beg your pardon?”

“I guess you didn’t notice when a certain someone stormed out earlier.”

Through the commotion of the meeting, devising strategies for their campaign, Dimitri’s mind drew a blank. And then the sound of a familiar scoff filled his head, echoing as it had left the room.

“Felix…”

“I think he’s upstairs, if you want to talk with him.”

Dimitri sighed, giving his old friend a smile before tucking the letter inside his cloak and heading out of the cardinal’s room.

“He does love making things difficult.”

Sylvain laughed. “Wouldn’t be Felix if he didn’t!”

Dimitri smiled as he walked into the hall, his cape whipping around the hall as it trailed behind him. Monks and soldiers stepped out of his way, their bows lower, much more revered than before. He couldn’t help the unease that welled in his chest; this was the respect given to a king. He hadn’t quite grown used to it yet.

And he still didn’t feel he quite earned it, either.

He turned for the stairwell, up to the third floor. Cyril stood at his post outside the Archbishop’s room. At the sight of Dimitri, he gave a nod and somewhat of a bow.

“Yer Majesty.”

Dimitri waved his hand, an awkward chuckle on his lips. “Please, Cyril, there’s no need for such formalities.”

Cyril shrugged, unbothered. “Alright”

“Have you,” Dimitri started, his eye slowly scanning the doors that lead out to the star terrace, “by any chance seen Felix?”

“Seems you already know where he is.”

Perhaps Felix was right about what he said the previous moon, that everyone “knew about them,” whatever that had meant. They were friends, obviously, since birth, a childhood together only to be torn apart by tragedy. Felix seemed to have insinuated that the rest of the army, their companions knew about their…encounters together. A blush flashed across Dimitri cheeks as he turned to head out the the star terrance, one of the doors slightly ajar.

Dimitri didn’t necessarily mind if people knew, though it was embarrassing to think about, considering all the things they had done together. Instead, he feared they knew _more_ , like the deep inner workings of his heart. The clarity in his realization, when it came to him five years prior, of how he truly felt for Felix; could the others have possibly known about that? Did Felix know? Did he feel the same way?

He pushed open the door and there stood Felix, just footsteps from one of the small reflection pools, his image shimmering over the surface of the water.

“Felix?”

He turned quickly, as if startled by the company. After his eyes met with Dimitri, he scowled, turning his head away before Dimitri could get a good glimpse of the flush spreading across his face.

“Oh,” he said, his voice terse. “It’s you.”

Dimitri couldn’t help but smile; he found Felix’s less than welcoming tone endearing. “Do you mind if I join you?” He looked up as a breeze blew by, a flock of birds flying in the midday sky. “It’s quite a lovely day.”

“Do as you please.” His voice was still strained, as if he were holding back.

Dimitri kept his distance, merely walking up to the stone spire, admiring how it reflected the sunlight so perfectly. “You left the meeting early,” Dimitri said cautiously, keeping his eye on the spire before him.

Felix sighed, his steps slowly getting closer to Dimitri. “Yeah, I had to…”

“Do you disagree? With our campaign strategy?”

Dimitri turned; Felix was mere feet from him, his head low, eyes to the ground.

“I don’t think…it’s wise,” he said after moments of considerable silence.

“Do you not trust Claude?”

“It’s not that!” Felix’s response came much quicker, his head finally raised, his brows knit together tightly. “I know he’s a master strategist or whatever, I just think…”

He turned his head away once more, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a dusting of pink atop his ears.

Suddenly, it hit Dimitri; a memory from years ago and how it matched perfectly to the way Felix was acting.

_“…why don’t you go back to Riegan? He couldn’t keep his hands off you earlier.”_

Dimitri felt a lump in his throat, remembering how he had acted in a rage, at the insinuation that he would take anybody physically, as long as they showed an interest. The image of Felix’s frightened face still haunted him.

But He knew better this time, more mature and saved from the beast-hood that lurked deep within. Dimitri smirked and took a step towards Felix. “You aren’t…jealous, are you Felix?”

“Jealous?” Felix dared to lift his eyes, revealing just how red he had gotten. “What are you going on about, boar?”

Dimitri laughed, closing in. “I wonder how Claude will react,” he started, his eyes on the thin wisps of clouds overhead, “when I rush in to save him, gallantly destroying the foes who have targeted him. When I help him to defend his land, his title, and together we march in victory against the Empire.”

Felix huffed in a large breath, his lips forming a tight, thin line across his face. “You honestly think that would make me jealous? How foolish, why would it? It’s not like I’m not your…”

Felix froze in the moment, his eyes widening as his words began to fail him.

Dimitri tilted his head, stepping closer until he could smell the hint of oil and metal coming from Felix. “You’re not my what?”

Felix tried to step back, but Dimitri had cornered him up against a wall, hardly an escape with the reflecting pond beside him.

“I…I meant…” He stammered, trying to look away, his eyes darting between Dimitri and the reflection pond below.

Dimitri moved in closer, if it were even possible, his fingers delicately tracing Felix’s chin, lifting it up. His other hand moved, without thought, resting on Felix’s hip. Felix barely moved his eyes,avoiding Dimitri’s gaze, as their noses were just barely touching.

“What _did_ you mean, Felix?” Dimitri kept his voice just above a whisper, marveling at how the sun bounced from the reflection ponds and into Felix’s eyes, enhancing their beauty, brilliant amber shining before him.

“B-boar!”

Dimitri laughed, pressing his lips against Felix’s. “Yes?”

There was no time for a verbal response and Dimitri ate it up, sealing Felix’s mouth with his own. Felix parted his lips without any lead, eagerly welcoming Dimitri’s tongue. Dimitri hummed in agreement, tipping Felix’s head back to move deeper into his mouth.

It was moments before Felix’s hands reached up to the back of Dimitri’s head, pulling him in closer, parting only to take several breaths before kissing him once more, full of passion.

Dimitri hoped to find the word on Felix’s tongue this way; what was he about to say? Friend? Companion? Lover? He felt a flutter in his chest thinking of that last word and slowly parted from Felix, gently kissing his lips once more before he was able to lock in his gaze.

“If it were you,” he began, low and light, his thumb brushing against Felix’s cheek, “I wouldn’t hesitate to save you. No war councils, no campaigns. Just me and Areadbhar. And I would slash down any and every foe to ensure your safety.”

“D-dimitri,” Felix said through gritted teeth; it was cute seeing him attempt a scowl.

He kissed Felix’s nose this time and finally set him free. “I’ll leave you to your thoughts, Felix. I do hope you are…” He paused, regarding the spire once more before turning back to Felix, still frozen in the moment from before. “I hope this put you at ease.”

Felix opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Dimitri nodded and head back inside, hovering a hand over his lips, confident he finally found the word on Felix’s tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!
> 
> As always, I'm on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	19. Blue Sea Moon - Cardinal's Room

Hours earlier, the room had been filled with combatant voices, arguing which line of defense would be best for their attack on Fort Merceus, what would be the quickest way to ensure their further assault onto Enbarr, and which strategies would take down the Emperor with the fewest casualties. Soldiers and officers, generals and the like, all fighting to speak over the other, until the voice of their King silenced all, his word final.

With the room mostly empty, that same voice was now low, husked and reserved, blowing against Felix’s ear, whispering ramblings, not of madness, but infatuation.

Felix strained his ears _not_ to hear it, not to listen to the sweet nothings wafting into his brain. Just focus on the movement, the action, the boar’s dick thrusting between his legs, growing slick with precum, both their dicks dripping with wanton need.

He held back the flutter in his chest when Dimitri’s hand pressed firmly against it, holding Felix close to him, his bare chest flush against the soft fabric at Felix’s back.

Once the room had emptied, Felix got to work without hesitation, tearing pieces of armor away until they were scattered all around the cardinal’s room, a lance holding the doors closed, so no one could enter, not even those who undoubtedly “knew.” A time alone, just the soon-to-be-king and his reluctant advisor. Reluctant only on the outside, Felix scoffed to himself, as he leaned further over the edge of the table, pushing his ass closer to Dimitri, chairs pushed and fallen to the side.

The boar somehow left his cloak on, even with the threat of summer’s deadly heat on his back. Felix could have sworn he heard something about him wanting to feel it all before his sweet release, but he ignored those words as well.

He had to.

Keep it physical. Nothing more.

That was Felix’s mantra.

Even though Dimitri held his glance in the dining hall for more longer moments than deemed necessary.

Even though Dimitri’s hand lingered for just another moment as it brushed against Felix’s in passing.

Even though his kisses were softer, longer, and yet hungrier than before. And those blue eyes looked so much more satiated than when Felix thought he had tamed a beast.

Words stayed in Felix’s ear longer than before, no matter how hard he tried to fight it off. Small skirmishes around the monastery were proving to be more difficult, because the boar had to glide onto the field, his cape effortlessly fluttering in his wake, his lance slashing down foes with limited force. A vision, blonde hair dancing in the wind, revealing a face celebrating in silent victory.

And the smile he would give Felix as they walked back up to Garreg Mach.

Warm. Sincere.

A man in…

“A-ahhh!”

Dimitri’s cock nudged at the back of Felix’s balls as he thrusted between Felix’s thighs, and a white flash hung in his periphery, pleasure roiling low in his belly. His cock remained relatively untouched, Dimitri’s other hand firm on Felix’s wrist to hold him down to the table, save for the times when Dimitri angled himself just right, the heads of their cocks meeting.

The heat of it all, their bodies, the summer air pulsating through the windows, was enough to drown any and all thoughts from Felix’s head. And he preferred that.

Until Dimitri’s voice came out, the soft glide of his hand up Felix’s arm to grasp his neck with the lightest of pressure; how his other hand slipped down his chest to grab his cock, finally giving it the attention it needed.

“F-fuck, aah,” Felix sputtered out, his head nearly colliding with the table below, but Dimitri held him back, held him up, his heart beating fast against Felix’s back.

“Tell me,” Dimitri whispered in that low, soft voice of his. It sent shivers down Felix’s spine until it pulsed in Felix’s cock, in Dimitri’s hand. “Tell me what you need, Felix.” His words were peppered with kisses at the back of Felix’s neck, only adding to the overstimulation.

Felix’s legs shook and he meekly thrusted into Dimitri’s hand. But he wouldn’t speak. He refused. With the nonsense spilling from Dimitri’s mouth, he couldn’t risk what was spinning in his head like a storm to come out as well. With each word, Felix bit down on his lower lip. Until the next thrust forced his mouth open.

“Tell me, Felix,” Dimitri called out in a moan, stroking Felix’s cock in long, languid motions, keeping him on the precipice of release. “Let me tend to you, let me…”

“F-fuck,” Felix growled out, squeezing his thighs together and pushing back against Dimitri’s cock, shutting him up in a choked cry. “Just f-fuck me, boar!”

Silence threatened his ears at that moment; not even their labored breaths could drain out the sound of nothing.

“Felix.” Dimitri dropped his hands and stepped back, leaving Felix offensively untouched.

He flicked his head back, loose strands of hair falling his face. “Wh-what?”

Dimitri stood there, his front exposed and dick slowly growing limp, his expression nearing hurt. He shook his head and began to pick up the pieces of his armor, strewn about the floor.

“No,” he said, closing his eyes as he dressed back into his small clothes and armor. “Perhaps it is too soon.”

That stupid sad smile of his, the one that always made Felix’s heart skip a beat, now painted upon his lips. Felix stared as a fully dressed Dimitri walked up to him; he was left wearing nothing but his cloak, bunched up at his waist. Dimitri leaned forward, hand at Felix’s chin, and hovered his lips over Felix’s, barely touching.

“Tell me, Felix,” he whispered once more, his tone strained, pained, almost.

Felix swallowed. He knew what he meant, but his mind raced with other options, anything to avoid the truth. _Don’t put it into words_ , he thought to himself, every night when he went to sleep with nothing but Dimitri on his mind.

“What…the fuck are you talking about?”

Dimitri breathed out a small laugh and turned to leave, sliding his lance out of the door handles and holding it at his side. “I think you know, but perhaps…”

He stopped, dropped his head, and turned.

And then he was gone. The door shut, its echo resonating throughout the room, nearly rendering Felix deaf. He felt like a fool, standing half nude in the cardinal’s room, covered in sweat and precum from the waist down. Aching to be touched.

“Fuck!” He slammed his fists onto the table before he brought one to his dick, jerking it off erratically, closing his eyes to try to remember the feel of Dimitri; between his thighs, against his back, hands on his wrists, his neck. He whined as his knees buckled inwards, his free hand gripping to the edge of the table.

Nothing could replicated Dimitri’s breath on his ear, not even the stale summer wind coming in through the windows, and yet he came at the thought of what Dimitri would have said, saving it only for the moments when he desperately needed to climax, needed the release.

He cried out, writhing on the table as he rode out his pleasure, the last few spurts pathetic. Exhausted, his chest was flat on the table, legs barely keeping him standing. He grunted, pushing himself off and staring at the mess below; his clothes, wrinkled and covered in his spend. Only his.

“Stupid boar,” he groaned out, dressing quickly not paying any mind to the sticky mess that pressed up against his skin. He could walk quickly back to the dorms; though it was still daytime, he knew no one would bother him if he picked up enough speed, kept his vision straight ahead.

Or at least he knew he could ignore anyone, no matter how loud they cried out to him.

In his room, he slammed the door and collapsed upon the bed, head heavy in his hands.

_“Tell me, Felix…”_

The words haunted his mind; why? Why did the boar need to hear that? Why did he want it? To ridicule him? To leave him more vulnerable than presenting his bare ass and thighs for the beastly king-to-be? He swallowed down another groan, and looked out between his fingers, at this room, nearly untouched in the five years Garreg Mach sat abandoned. In five years, no one bothered to ransack the dorms of the noble students. He laughed, looking out at the crap that would hardly sell for a measly gold piece.

His eyes fell to a dust covered corner, and a crumpled piece of parchment caught his gaze. He tilted his head, and the memories swam back to him.

Of a birthday, five years passed.

Of a message that he refused to read. One he still refused to acknowledge.

He stood up, and took tentative steps to the corner. Bending over, Felix’s fingers shuddered as dust and cobwebs coated his skin, but he grabbed the letter nonetheless. Unfolding it, he took it too his desk, took in a deep breath, and finally read it in its entirety…

_Felix,_

_I apologize for not preparing something more appropriate for your birthday, but I’ve felt my mind plagued by a series of questions as of late. One being the nature of our meeting at the Goddess Tower, the night I so desperately wanted to share my thoughts, only to lose them to my own voice. I believe it goes without saying that the rest of my mind has been consumed by the events of Duscur and those responsible. Now, more than ever before, I feel I may be closing in on the true source. But I cannot do this alone._

_The Professor has been one of my constant sources of support, but with their recent transformation, I believe asking for their continued aid in such a manner is overstepping their own journey. Therefore, I must ask something of you._

_Please, stay by my side. I know you can barely stand the sight of me at times, and I do not blame you for being so harsh, but the other moments we have spent together gives me some hope that you would not decline this request._

_I feel I need your support more than ever before, and I would not ask any more of you than just that. Please, Felix, without you, I cannot reach my goal, and I feel I may be lost forever. I need you, Felix._

_I love you._

_Yours, if you will,_

_Dimitri._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go! I can't believe I got here so quickly. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Find me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)


	20. Verdant Rain Moon - Enbarr

Several miles outside Enbarr, the Kingdom Army had set up camp. They were far enough away to feel secure from the Imperial Army, but close enough to be able to reach the city by noon the following day.

Dimitri couldn’t sleep, a common occurrence for him, but this time, it wasn’t the ghosts of the past that kept him awake, it was one of his very real present. On the morrow, he would face her; Edelgard. Both the threat of defeat and the thrill of victory consumed his mind.

Unable to even sit still, he stepped outside his tent and nodded to the soldiers who stood guard, stepping away from their salutes to weave through the military camp. The air was warm and thick, and it did little to help ease his mind. It only helped to flood it with more uncertainties, more scenarios where he would fail, and possibly loose it all. As we walked aimlessly through the camps, he noticed a light flickering in one particular tent, a tent he had made sure to recognize. One certainty hovered in his mind above all else and he smiled as he slipped towards the tent’s opening, peaking his head through the flap.

“Good evening, Felix. Mind if I join you?”

Felix had been reading a piece of parchment, a letter by the looks of it, and sat cross legged on his sleeping mat with a thin blanket piled in his lap. The flickering flame of a single candle cast thin shadows across his face, his eyes growing wide at the sound of Dimitri’s voice. He hastily shoved the letter under the pillow behind him, his face growing a bright shade of pink; Dimitri could tell, even in such low light.

“D-dimitri, what are you…?”

He laughed at how flustered Felix had sounded and stepped inside the tent, hunching low as the top of it brushed his head. “I could not sleep, if that comes as a surprise.”

Felix groaned and turned upon the sleeping mat to face Dimitri crossing his arms in front of him. “And you thought you’d come by to bother me, is that it?”

“Oh, of course. I’m sorry, I…”

Dimitri started to back out of the tent; Felix would need his sleep, especially on the night before a battle. His mind truly was a fog of distraction.

“Don’t!” Felix spoke quickly, his hands out in front of him as if to beckon Dimitri back. “You…you can stay.”

Dimitri felt his heart flutter in this chest at the way Felix almost immediately averted his gaze, that blush from earlier growing a slightly darker shade. He stepped in, taking a seat at an upturned crate opposite Felix within the tent.

“Thank you.”

Felix shook his head, bringing the blanket up to his chest, but remaining seated on the mat.

“It’s…whatever. I can’t sleep either…”

“I really shouldn’t be a bother to you, Felix,” he said, leaning forward on the crate. From just under the pillow, he could see a corner of the parchment, wrinkled and scribbled with faded writing. “I can always head back to my tent…”

“You’re not a bother.” Felix looked up, his gaze resolute.

It sent Dimitri’s heart into a flurry and he gripped at the thin fabric of his pants in an attempt to calm it down.

“And I’ve already said you could stay so, please. Stay.”

Smiling, Dimitri looked down at his hands; white knuckles, fingers shaking against his thighs. So much was on his mind, so much keeping him from thinking straight.

“For you, I will.”

Felix groaned at Dimitri’s words, shuffling on his mat until the pillow revealed more of the parchment to Dimitri. It had a certain familiarity to it that piqued his curiosity.

“If I may ask, Felix,” he said, watching loose strands of the other man’s hair sway across his face as he turned about. “What were you reading when I first came in?”

“Shit,” Felix cursed beneath his breath, turning around and spotting the now exposed letter under his pillow. “N-nothing, it’s nothing…”

“If I may see it…”

“No!” Felix’s hands were firm atop the pillow, the letter safely hidden beneath it. “Though it’s not like you…h-haven’t seen it before.” Felix’s voice trailed off at the end of his sentence, barely audible.

Dimitri cocked his head to the side, leaning closer; for such a small tent, it was a wonder he felt so far from Felix. “Have I?”

Felix shut his eyes, the blush trailing down his neck to his barely exposed chest, covered in the light fabric of his night shift. “Just…forget about it. I’m going to sleep now, so…”

He flopped onto the mat, facing away from Dimitri, and pulled the blanket up to his chin, curling beneath it.

Dimitri smiled and crawled over to him, slipping up behind Felix to rest a hand at his hip. “May I join you?” He leaned down, whispering softly, his lips merely brushing against the shell of Felix’s ear.

Like a cat, Felix’s shoulders hitched up at the slightest touch from Dimitri, but he nodded all the same, his grip on the blanket loosening.

“Y-yeah…”

Dimitri wrapped his arms around Felix, holding him close to his chest. He closed his eyes and settled down onto the pillow, thinking perhaps this would be the best way he could get some sleep. But the upcoming battle still loomed in the back of his mind, and after moments of lying there, the candle still flickering by the foot of the mat, he sat up.

“Dimitri?”

He stared at the flame, slowly descending down to the base, wax melting down the sides and piling in a hardened pool upon the crate.

“Tomorrow’s battle,” he started, unsure of where to find his next words.

Felix sat up, the blanket falling to his lap. He placed a hand at Dimitri’s cheek, turning his gaze to him. “I know,” he said, his eyes on Dimitri’s for a moment before flickering down.

Dimitri leaned into Felix’s touch, closing his eyes and placing his hand over Felix’s, cupping it within his own. “So much is at stake and I…”

Suddenly, Felix’s forehead was pressed up against his, the feel of his breath cool in contrast to the thick, humid, Adrestian air. “You will win, I’m certain of that.”

Dimitri could feel a tear threaten his eye but Felix brushed it away before it had the chance to reach his skin.

“You are a boar, determined to your very last nerve. You will win the battle, you _will_ win this war.”

Laughing, Dimitri started to brush the back of Felix’s hand with his fingers; his skin was so soft, so warm. “You truly think that of me?” He held Felix’s hand, bringing it down to his chest so Felix could feel the fluttering of his heart.

Felix’s fingers trembled on Dimitri’s chest, open to the air from the low collar of his white shirt. They glossed over skin, cupping at his exposed skin. Closing his eyes, Felix nodded. “I _know_ that of you.”

Dimitri moved his other hand to Felix’s chin, tilting it up so their lips were just a breath apart. “I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, a tear finally falling, cascading down his cheek until it fell to Felix’s fingers below.

“Then,” Felix began, his eyes growing hazy as he slowly moved in closer. “Treat this as our last night together. As if we won’t haven another chance.”

His words hit every anxiety within Dimitri; losing Felix was truly his greatest fear. Without hesitation, he wrapped Felix in his arms, nearly devouring him in a desperate kiss. Felix gasped a moan between them, kissing Dimitri back, hands grabbing at the top hem of Dimitri’s shirt.

His hands slid down the smooth curve of Felix’s spine, settling low on his back and holding him even closer. Felix trembled, nipping at Dimitri’s bottom lip before glancing up, his mouth open, his breath coming out in nothing but short gasps past his lips.

“Felix, I…”

He placed his fingers on Dimitri’s lips, stopping his very voice. “Don’t, you’ve…already said as much.” He briefly looked down at his pillow, and the realization dawned on Dimitri in that moment.

He knew the exact contents of the letter. It was _his_ letter, from years ago. His cry for help, his plea.

His confession.

“I just want you tonight, okay? No words, just…” Felix stopped himself with another kiss and Dimitri agreed, kissing him back, willing his words into a frenzied passion.

Dimitri leaned down, laying Felix upon his mat, hands roaming to toss aside the thin blanket and running them up the frayed hem of Felix’s night shift.

Felix tugged at the fabric, prying it up and off over his head, undoing his hair tie in the process as inky strands spilled upon the pillow.

Kneeling above him, Dimitri merely stared at the scars that marred Felix’s pale skin. He rested his hands at Felix’s thighs, feeling them tremble beneath his touch. Slowly, his fingers inched up, climbing over the curve of Felix’s hip bones, tracing the lines of scars along his stomach, up to his chest.

“Felix, you’re so…”

“No words, boar,” he warned, but his eyes told a different story, as did the smirk on his lips.

With a nod, Dimitri leaned forward, diving into another passionate kiss as Felix’s hands worked at unlacing the front of his trousers. The soft touch over his crotch sent a shiver up his spine, unaware of how hard he had become; but Felix always had that effect on him.

Once undone, Felix tugged at the shirt held within, pulling it up and over Dimitri’s head, his eyes now scanning the details of Dimitri’s chest.

“Do I still…?”

“Boar.” Felix gave a warning tone, his hands gently careening over scarred flesh and visible ribs.

Dimitri nodded, hissing in a breath as Felix continued to touch. His cock sat trembling, cradled in the loose ties of his pants and a quick glance down revealed that Felix, too, was just as aroused. But he was taking his time, savoring the moment.

_Treat this as our last night together…_

He hoped to the Goddess that it wouldn’t be, but Felix’s words held a certain sentiment that Dimitri could understand. It was almost as if he were saying “love me as though we will both die tomorrow.” Dimitri trembled at the thought, but within him grew a steely resolve; to love Felix thoroughly, embrace every moment he had left.

He glanced around the tent as Felix’s hands roamed lower, taking Dimitri’s dick in their tender hold. He moaned, pathetically, as he nearly crawled over Felix to grab a bottle of oil that sat beside his swords.

Felix smirked at the sight of the bottle, sitting up on his elbows as Dimitri uncorked the bottle. “Desperate times…”

Dimitri shook his head, pouring the liquid over his fingers and rubbing a thumb against Felix’s thighs. “No words, Felix,” he said, a devious curl to his lips, patting the pads of his fingers over Felix’s hole. “Those were your rules, correct?”

Felix rolled his eyes, but still pressed his hips down on Dimitri’s fingers, his own busy at work, prying at the waistband of Dimitri’s pants. “Y-you’re…the worst, sometimes.”

Tilting his head back, Dimitri moaned in a breathy laugh, using his free hand to slide down his pants, discarding them to the side. He settled back between Felix’s legs, slicked up flingers still teasing at Felix’s hole as he grabbed his legs and pulled the slimmer man into his lap.

Felix gasped and writhed on the mat, the blush on his face creeping down his chest, painting the tips of his ears that peeked out between his hair.

Dimitri could feel his cock pulse with need, but he swallowed down his budding arousal, his hand tightening around Felix’s ankle and raising it to his lips. While his other fingers continued to rub along Felix’s desperately needy hole, occasionally nudging his thumb into the back of his balls, Dimitri closed his eyes to plant kisses down Felix’s leg, at the soft flesh behind his knee. With a shuddered breath,he finally pierced inside of Felix, watching as the other man’s back arched up and over the sleeping mat.

“Aahh…”

His leg twitched and fell out of Dimitri’s hold, toes curling into thin fabric on the ground.

Dimitri hummed as he delicately brushed up against the warm heat inside Felix, his hips beginning to twitch with impatient need.

“Felix, you’re simply breathtaking,” Dimitri huffed out in a low, passionate growl, grinding his hips closer towards Felix as he teased a third finger along his puckered rim.

“Aah,” Felix cried out, but managed to open one scolding eye. “N-no wor-…”

“No words. Yes, I know.” Dimitri leaned over once more, drinking in Felix’s moans in a kiss as he pushed in a third finger, his exploration turning more desperate, hungry with each shallow thrust. He pushed in deeper, his fingers grazing over a spot that caused Felix’s body to rumble beneath his.

Felix yelped within the kiss once Dimitri had reached deep enough, and he began to fuck Felix harder on his fingers before the heat welling within him couldn’t handle the wait anymore.

He withdrew his fingers to a sickeningly slick sound and glanced down at Felix, his eye hazy with desire. There was so much he wanted to say in that moment.

_You’re beautiful._

_I wish to be with you forever._

_I love you…_

Swallowing hard, Dimitri pressed the head of his cock flush against Felix’s wet hole. He had already said those words, written them down. It was enough, it seemed, for Felix.

And so he pressed in, slowly at first, drinking in the sight of Felix’s hair flinging back with his head, a pool of silky strands nestled around his face. Felix’s own cock twitched upon his stomach, small beads of precum glistening over his skin.

Dimitri steadied his hips, gripping tight around Felix’s waist, and pressed in until he was clenched within Felix’s tight heat. His body shuddered, his own head falling back, the ends of his hair tickling his sweat covered back. Felix fluttered around him until he could begin to move, slowly rocking at first, Felix moving along with him. His fingers and toes grew numb as all sensation seemed to be held within his groin, roiling low within belly, ready to burst.

Felix gripped at the sleeping mat below him, his thin fingers shaking wildly as his chest rose and fell in an erratic rhythm.

Dimitri leaned close, kissing Felix in the center chest; he wanted to feel his heart against his lips.

He had so much to say, so much he needed Felix to _hear_ , his chest tightening as he kept his words within. His hands slipped lower, cradling Felix’s ass, and he began to thrust harder, faster, each slip inside rendering Felix to nothing but moans and cries, his hands flying to Dimitri’s wrists, gripping tight.

“A-aah, Dimitri!!”

He cried out as each thrust seemed to send him over the edge, a burst of hot ropes of come painting his stomach pearly white.

Dimitri trembled, his rhythm building, his own release nearing as his heart hammered in his ears.

Felix’s hands snaked up around the back of Dimitri’s neck, pulling him close, and he simply nodded, his bright amber eyes saying more than words ever needed to.

Dimitri stifled his moan against Felix’s mouth, whimpering as he came within him, his hips jerking forward with abandon until he reached his limit.

They both tumbled to the ground, two heaps of sweat slicked bodies, gasping heavily in the thick summer air that swelled within the tent. On a wobbling arm, Dimitri’s pushed up to look down at Felix, his eyes fluttering open, cheeks stained with blush. Strands of dark hair stuck to his face and Dimitri smiled, brushing them aside and tangling his fingers within the rest of it.

“Your hair,” he started, breathless, a strand twirling around his finger, “is beautiful when it’s down.”

Felix groaned, reaching up to run his fingers through Dimitri’s. “Yours is…nice, too.”

Dimitri laughed, never expecting those words to fall from Felix’s lips. He kissed him, softly, slipping his hand between the pillow and Felix’s head to cradle it gently.

He held Felix close to his chest and eventually, long after the small flame from the candle flickered out of existence, fell into a peaceful sleep.

Their last night together; enough to ease Dimitri into his last possible sleep…

* * *

Dimitri stood at the entrance to the city, Dedue at his side with Annette close by. Ingrid swung low in the air on her Pegasus, Lúin firm in her grip. Ashe hid among a gathering of decorative bushes, just beside the gated entrance to the residential area. Behind them, battalions of soldiers stood at the ready to storm Enbarr. Their sources had told them that the gates were heavily guarded, by demonic beasts whose wings could be heard flapping in the wind, and Hubert, Edelgard’s most steadfast and loyal general.

Turning his head, Dimitri spotted the other half of their faction in the distance; the Professor stood at the head, the Sword of the Creator glowing tight in their hands, with Sylvain, mounted at their side. Mercedes stood behind, flanked by archers and sworn swords to protect their most prized healer from oncoming attacks.

And Felix. At the Professor’s opposite side. He was far, but Dimitri knew how he looked; steely determination in his amber eyes, hair tied tight at the back of his head, a sword at his hip and one in his hands.

He wished the Professor had not separated them in their campaign strategy, but Felix had insisted. It tugged at Dimitri’s heart, but he knew the reason well; if he were to witness Felix falling in battle, the beast he had set to his past would return in a hungry rage, ready to tear anyone down. And it would cost them the war.

Closing his eyes and looking ahead, he whispered a silent prayer to the Goddess.

“Keep him safe.” His lips moved to the words, a single tear dropping from his eyes.

“Your Highness?” Dedue shook him from the moment and with a quick nod, Dimitri looked ahead.

“Let us march…”

* * *

She fell to the floor in a muffled thud, blood pooling beneath her from the wound dealt by Aredbhar. Dimitri shuddered as he ripped the dagger from his shoulder, numbness spreading slowly from the wound down his arm. Mercedes would see to it later, that much was sure.

He took a moment to watch the life leave Edelgard, his chest heavy with sorrow.

Edelgard.

The emperor.

His sister.

He turned, the professor at his side, ready to leave the throne room behind, but the memory of the day still welled within him. Just one more glance. Just once more goodbye.

Their hand gripped his tight, and one look into those wide, green eyes told him,

“We must go.”

As they walked through the double doors, out of the throne room, clashing steel echoed and clanged throughout the palace. In the grand room before them, the strongest of the Kingdom’s soldiers still battled Imperial guards, desperate to stop the inevitable.

Felix, covered in blood, eyes thin and determined, was locked in battle with a large, fully armored soldier. But Felix was quick, skilled, and armed with the deadliest of rapiers. A few quick slashes and stabs saw the Imperial guard fall to the ground, the gurgling of his attempted final words filling in the hall. Felix took in several heavy breaths before he looked up, the last of the battles ending around him, and then he met Dimitri’s eyes.

Time seemed to freeze in that moment. They stood meters apart, both covered in the grime of war, and the rest of the room seemed to fade away. Felix’s lips moved, but Dimitri couldn’t make out what they were saying.

His ears were filled with water, it seemed, all sound muffled and garbled, but soon Felix’s voice pierced through.

“You…you did it, didn’t you?”

The rest of the room fell silent, Sylvain grabbing his foe in a chokehold and Ingrid slashing a soldier until they collapsed at her feet.

The Professor stepped aside, and Dimitri could have sworn there was a smile on their lips; they’d always known, that much was certain.

Dimitri couldn’t bring this lips to form a smile, no matter how certain his victory was, or that the Kingdom, the continent even, was freed from Imperial rule. But he lifted his chin, kept his eyes towards Felix, and croaked out a quiet,

“Yes.”

Felix’s sword clattered to the floor, his feet taking him through the hall and into Dimitri’s beckoning arms. He kissed him, fierce and messy, a shadow of a laugh in his voice, and Dimitri held him close, wincing slightly as a gush of blood poured from the wound left by El’s dagger.

But it mattered not. Felix was in his arms, and would certainly stay there as long as Dimitri willed it.

Felix pulled back, arms shaking as they hung around Dimitri’s neck. He was smiling, wider and brighter than he ever had, at least for the first time Dimitri could remember since Duscur. Tears pooled from his eyes, making them glitter a bright, brilliant amber.

“I knew you would,” he choked out, holding tight.

Dimitri nodded, his hand cradling the back of Felix’s head. “Thank you, Felix…”

“No need to, boar,” he smirked. He pressed his lips to Dimitri’s once more, his smile infectious. “I love you.”

The words filled Dimitri like a warm, rushing wave. He pulled Felix close, kissing him once more, tear stained cheeks pressed tight together.

“I love you, Felix,” he cried out.

The two remained, huddling in each other’s arms, for what could have been an eternity.

That was all they would need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me on this journey with these two beautiful idiots. And for your patience as I took a small break last week to focus on nanowrimo (keep your eyes peeled for that one! It's super sweet and silly). This fic means a lot to me and the support you've given me throughout it just fills my heart with stupid happy feels, haha.
> 
> As always, give me a follow or just say hi on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/thnkurluckystar)
> 
> \- mumsy


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